Salesperson: They don’t have to know what they want. They just have to tell me what they want.
2299 Ridge Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: dying a slow death
Salesperson: They don’t have to know what they want. They just have to tell me what they want.
2299 Ridge Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: dying a slow death
Project manager: So, when Janet* gets it from both sides next week… Do you think that is what Craig* and Barbara* really want?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: The Quiet Consultant
Student: Hi! I need to get a list of course requirements so I can fill out this form, please.
Receptionist: Okay, we’ll just need a copy of the form first.
Student: But I need the requirements to fill out the form…
Receptionist: I’m sorry, we don’t work in hypotheticals.
Student: Um… okay… What was it in the past?
Receptionist: We don’t file them that way. We’ll need a copy of the form.
Student: So you need this form filled out so you can give me the list that I need to fill out the form?
Receptionist: Yes!
Dunster Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Executive: Our new company motto is “Fuck it!” Can we put it on our website?
1777 North California Boulevard
Walnut Creek, California
Supervisor #1: I mean, humans are the only ones that are supposed to be having interspecies sex, and even then, I don’t think that we should be.
Supervisor #2: Ew.
Supervisor #3: But that’d probably get you promoted here.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Consultant on phone: No, Sandy*, you are not allowed to take your pet chicken on the domestic flights.
Other line: [Muffled yelling.]Consultant: Sandy, I have already told you — even if it is in a cage, we do not allow pets in the cabin. Only guide dogs or police dogs. You will have to send it as cargo. [Other line hangs up.] Good God! Who the fuck wants to take a chicken away for summer vacation with them?!
Auckland
New Zealand
Drug rep: All the regulations in this industry just keep getting more strict all the time. I set up a meeting the other day with one of our medical reps and a doctor I know and I couldn't say a word the entire time except to introduce them. I was like a mouse on the floor.
Admin (laughing hysterically): Do you mean “a fly on the wall”?
Drug rep (embarrassed): Give me a break. It's Friday morning and I'm wearing a suit for a meeting that was canceled and nobody told me. I'm going home!
Arlington, Texas
Overheard by: Genyis
Cashier: Do you have a value rewards card?
Girl: No.
Cashier: Would you like to sign up for a value rewards card?
Girl: No, thank you.
Cashier: Sorry, we have to ask or they take us out back and beat us.
Pentagon City Mall
Arlington, Virginia
Coworker #1: I was berated by Susan* yesterday because I asked for my light fixture to be fixed… again… after 13 days. She got angry because she ‘has more important things to worry about.’ Apparently, her husband’s in the ICU.
Coworker #2: Dude, she’s going to have to unplug him.
Coworker #1: I understand that, but I resent the accusation that somehow my asking for my light to be fixed betrays an insensitivity to the plight of her almost-dead husband.
Austin, Texas
Employee #1: You’re making a mess with the mail. Envelopes are all over the place. They’re calling me to come clean them up.
Employee #2: They’re calling you? What are they saying?
Employee #1: “Come clean me up. I’m strewn about the table.”
Employee #2: …Because evelopes have such a good vocabulary.
Employee #1: Of course they do. That’s why they don’t stay sealed. They’ve got a lot to say.
12100 I-40 East
Amarillo, Texas
