Attorney on phone: I don't ever want you to be afraid to clamp down on my boys.
Durango, Colorado
Attorney on phone: I don't ever want you to be afraid to clamp down on my boys.
Durango, Colorado
40-something male colleague: Oh, Sunday was no-pants day! Did you participate?
20-something female intern: Yes, but not intentionally!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Office lady #1: And I was like “Hmmmmmmmm… Ya, not sure how Karen* feels about the whole not-being-friends thing. No offense, but we don't ever talk about you.”
Office lady #2: She missed me putting up with her shit?
Office lady #1: And I don't talk to her about you.
Office lady #2: Do it! I don't care! You can tell her that I think she is so full of shit she should be an overflowing outhouse.
Office lady #1, laughing: You know me, I would never do that!
Office lady #2: The only difference between her and the overflowing outhouse is that I'd shit on her.
Calgary
Canadia
Peon #1: I'm sorry. I was trying to apply logic to it.
Peon #2: You can't do that. This is a corporation.
San Francisco, California
Cube dweller: Sleeping with the manager does not give you authority.
395 Scenic Highway
Lawrenceville, Georgia
Cubicle dweller to colleague: Let just ignore for a moment the fact that the data is all screwed.
Colleague: It's a rather unorthodox way of looking at it…
Austin, Texas
Marketing to IT worker: Would you stop looking in my trash and judging me?
Beaverton, Oregon
Rep: The King of Nepal has declared martial law and has cut off all
communication, so I cannot check the status of that rug order…
41 East 57th Street
New York, NY
Female coworker #1: Yeah, I didn't come into work the other day because I was bleeding so bad, I mean I was in the bathroom every hour changing my pad.
Female coworker #2: I know, I bleed extremely heavily! I'm in there at least every 20 minutes.
Female coworker #1: At least I'm not like Patti*, she was bleeding like the Niagra Falls. When I'm bleeding all over myself, I just don't feel like working.
Cecil County, Maryland
Customer: You did a wonderful job on your Christmas tree!
Boss: Actually, my staff did all the work.
Staff #1: No, you set the tree up.
Boss: Yes, but you added some ornaments.
Staff #1: Only a few, but I fluffed up the branches so I guess I’m the office fluffer.
Cleveland, Ohio
