Office manager: Dude, you can't stick boobs on your drawers.
Canberra
Australia
Office manager: Dude, you can't stick boobs on your drawers.
Canberra
Australia
Intern: Holy shit, it’s cold in here!
Sandy*, ancient secretary: Allen*! This a law office — a professional place of business. We do not use profanity in this office. What if a client had been waiting in reception and heard you use that kind of language? In the future I would ask that you refrain from using that kind of language. I’m sure the partners would not appreciate you speaking that way to your coworkers, especially those who are older than you.
Partner, entering five minutes later: Jesus-fucking-Christ, it’s cold in here! Goddamn, Larry* — cheapskate son of a bitch won’t turn the heat on until nine. Sandy, get me Larry’s number so I can give that asshole a piece of my mind. Fucking dick. Every goddamn winter he pulls this shit. And Sandy, make some coffee for these interns — it’s like 40 degrees in here!
Law office
New York, New York
Store clerk to weird customer: Sir, we don't carry that, that only exists on television.
Long Island
Front office girl at medical spa, hanging up phone: The client says we are not taking her concerns seriously, and she is going to report us to the Surgeon General.
Ditzy manager: The Surgeon General? But we don't have anything to do with smoking!
Front office girl, under her breath: I can't believe I have to report to you.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: OMG The IQ level here is amazing
Boss to bickering clients on conference call: Do you guys always eat each other out like that?
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Office drone #1: Tomorrow we need to talk about that thing we were going to talk about last week but didn't because of the other thing.
Office drone #2: Right.
Office drone #3: You could have just called. Now we're all sitting here wondering and guessing what that mystery message is about.
Office drone #1: Oh, you're fine.
Office drone #3: Damn right! 24/7!
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: University Lackey
Male employee, angry about benefits: So my live-in girlfriend is not a domestic partner but Steve's* boyfriend is?
HR generalist: Yes, that's right. Domestic partners are same sex partners, that is the policy.
Male employee: So if my girlfriend became my boyfriend I could put her on my insurance?
HR generalist: Yes, if she grows a penis and discovers a deep abiding love for Cher, she can be on your insurance.
Male employee: Really?
HR generalist: (sighs)
Skokie, Illinois
Loud, annoying girl on phone trying to sound important: No, no, no! We can't do April 22nd, we're closed for black Friday!
Manhattan, New York
Manager: Jen*, what happened to dress code?
Jen: I just rolled my pants up. I was hot.
Manager: Did you shave your legs?
Jen: Yes.
Manager: Then it’s okay.
3 Kent Road
New Milford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Nik
Employee: This memo was sent back saying that your signature wasn't acceptable, someone higher up has to sign it.
Boss: Oh yeah, there is a memo for that. The big boss signed a memo stating that I can sign the memos that he is supposed to sign.
Employee: I'm sorry, I must not have heard about that. Where can I get a copy?
Boss: It's saved in the financial directory folder. By the way, so everyone is on the same page, do you think you could send out a memo about that?
Large University
Michigan
