Director, miming painting a wall: This is painting. It's kind of like bitch-slapping.
Adult Film Company
New York
Overheard by: fetishgirl
Director, miming painting a wall: This is painting. It's kind of like bitch-slapping.
Adult Film Company
New York
Overheard by: fetishgirl
Manager: I'd always give up something I hate for lent…like string beans, or vagina.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Sarah R
CEO: [Frank] and [James] go way back. And when they start on a bid, [Frank] doesn’t shave. He grows a moustache, and when we get the deal the moustache comes off. So when I see it start coming back, I want it off. Either way, he’s still the ugliest bastard we have on the team.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Coworker #1: I can't believe we didn't catch that last time!
Coworker #2: We did… and laughed at it.
Manhattan, New York
Manager #1: Do you think Christmas carols are appropriate for when the
prospective client comes in at 2?
Manager #2: What’s wrong with Christmas carols?
Manager #1: I just feel like it doesn’t represent us.
Manager #2: You’re asking the wrong person, because I love christmas carols.
Underling: Well, [the CEO] is the one who put this playlist on.
Manager #1 & #2: Oh, okay.
552 Broadway
New York, NY
Boss: This is not an interactive meeting, so no feedback of any kind. Every customer who gives a commitment today will get a $350 Home Depot giftcard. This is only until the end of business today.
Loan Officer: But I got a customer commitment yesterday. Can I tell her that we will send her one?
Boss: Didn’t I just say that this meeting is not interactive? I won’t answer your stupid questions.
Loan Office: …So what’s the answer?
The boss storms out.
Loan Officer: I’ll just ask him later.
2700 Westchester Avenue
Purchase, New York
Intern #1: I love that street, there's all those great restaurants there.
Intern #2: I know! And there's that tranny park at the end of the block.
Intern #1: What?
Intern #2: I can't repeat what I just said.
Manhattan, New York
Female coworker #1: Wow, is that guy old?
Female coworker #2: Yeah.
Female coworker #1: I was wondering, since you were writing his will. He seemed all “grrrrrrr”'!
Female coworker #2: Yeah… He's married.
Utica, New York
Overheard by: Internet Meme
Liberal cube dweller #1: I have so much to celebrate next week. My sister's birthday and the anniversary of Roe v. Wade.
Liberal cube dweller #2: You celebrate that?
Liberal cube dweller #1: Yes, I absolutely do.
Liberal cube dweller #2: What kind of cake do you get?
Liberal cube dweller #1: A fetus cake.
Liberal cube dweller #2: I have seen the fetus cookies, but I have never seen a fetus cake.
Liberal cube dweller #1: I'm kidding. Not about celebrating Roe v. Wade, but about having a fetus cake.
Liberal cube dweller #2: I'd eat a fetus cake.
Albany, New York
Overheard by: We are NOT Reception
