Statistician: They’re lying. Unless everything we believe about the world is untrue.
Chelsea
New York City, New York
Statistician: They’re lying. Unless everything we believe about the world is untrue.
Chelsea
New York City, New York
Boss: What are you doing?
Employee: Working.
Boss: Seriously?
Employee: Nah. I am actually watching video bulldogs riding on skateboards. Check it out!
Boss: [Walks away shaking head.]
7th Avenue
New York City, New York
Financial advisor on phone with possible client: I gave you what you needed. You have the paperwork. You see my partners’ names. Just don’t bullshit me… Stop cursing! I didn’t curse. I said bullshit, that’s not a curse.
50th and Broadway
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Stuck in this Cube
Elderly office assistant to youthful graphic designer: I have to tell you about cabbage, and how nutritious cabbage is…
Water Street
New York City, New York
Coworker #1: Right?
Coworker #2: Right! [Pause.] What did I just agree to?
Coworker #3: We’re blaming the Jews for traffic congestion.
West 57th Street
New York City, New York
Editor #1: Is it fiction?
Editor #2: Yeah, it’s an adult book. I mean, regular fiction, not young adult. That always sounds so weird, adult book.
Editor #1, laughing: I know!
Editor #2: Like it was a little book that grew up!
Editor #1: … Yeah. Like that.
Murray Hill
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Internet sweatshop girl: Its getting cold in here!
Internet sweatshop guy: Does it make you want to put on all of your clothes?
Hell’s Kitchen
New York City, New York
Cashier #1, trying to unlock a drawer at the front desk: I… Can’t… Get… The key… To work.
Cashier #2, who recently found out he got his booty-call pregnant: You have to jiggle it, and then pull it out.
Cashier #1, laughing: Cause that has worked so well for you in the past.
Grocery Store
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Loves It!!
Girl #1: Why you got that scary picture as your wallpaper?
Girl #2: It’s not scary. It’s a pretty field and a tree.
Manager: It looks like Teletubbies are gonna walk over the hill and kill us all.
Girl #1: Why you gotta be so scary? Why can’t you have a normal desktop picture? Like Betty Boop?
Purchase, New York
Overheard by: Is my life really like this?
Man diva: I mean, I cannot believe my little brother didn’t notice that stain for five hours! How can you think it’s water when it doesn’t dry for five hours?
Girl: Well maybe he wasn’t paying attention. It was your grandfather’s funeral.
Man diva: Ohmigod it’s like seven inches across the cuff!
Girl: I’m sure there’s somewhere you can still wear them?
Man diva: Yeah, if somebody has a stain party!
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Dry cleaner no good
