Co-worker #1: You like nice today.
Co-worker #2: No I don’t, I look like a big slut! Can’t you see my cleavage falling out of this shirt?
Co-worker #1: Oh, I didn’t notice.
240 Princeton Avenue
Hamilton, New Jersey
Co-worker #1: You like nice today.
Co-worker #2: No I don’t, I look like a big slut! Can’t you see my cleavage falling out of this shirt?
Co-worker #1: Oh, I didn’t notice.
240 Princeton Avenue
Hamilton, New Jersey
Customer: Here’s my order number.
CSR: Yes, how can I help you?
Customer: What can you tell me about my order?
CSR: Um. What would you like to know?
Customer: You tell me. What does your computer tell you?
CSR: It tells me lots of things. What you ordered, when you ordered it. How can I help you?
Customer: Tell me everything your screen tells you about my order.
CSR: What would you like to know?
Customer: No, I want to know what you know about my order.
CSR: Well, I can tell you when it shipped, when it was delivered. Would those help?
Customer: No. What else?
CSR: Well, it would take me a really long time to read you everything I have here.
Customer: Oh. Well, let me explain. [Gives explanation]CSR: I see. So you just want UPS to pick up this order?
Customer: Are you an idiot? That’s what I’ve been saying the whole time!
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon can’t wait for the weekend
Supervisor: Oh, my husband is in your homeland this week!
Asian supervisor: Oh, California?
Supervisor: Uh, well, I actually meant China. But he’ll be in California in a few weeks.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Director, pointing to picture: This sister? Is she older than you?
Employee: No I’m the oldest.
Director: She looks older than you. Both your sisters do.
Employee: That’s because they both stopped taking their estrogen. They dried up.
365 W Passaic St,
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cubicle right outside
Supervisor #1: I mean, humans are the only ones that are supposed to be having interspecies sex, and even then, I don’t think that we should be.
Supervisor #2: Ew.
Supervisor #3: But that’d probably get you promoted here.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Female coworker: I don’t think being gay is a choice. When a baby is in the womb, it makes that decision.
200 Corporate Drive
Lebanon, New Jersey
Female coworker: I would never go to a country music concert.
Male coworker: Well what kind of concert would you go to?
Female coworker: I dunno… I'd go see Michael Jackson.
Male coworker: Um… He's dead.
Female coworker, after pause: I knew that.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Overheard by: Not Living Under a Rock
Checkout teen: Would you like a CVS rewards card?
Hippie girl: No.
Checkout teen, hopefully: They're environmentally friendly.
Old Bridge, New Jersey
Old drone: My dad, when he got older, cut off his mustache, but then it wouldn't grow back in all the way, and he looked like Hitler.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Woman with thick Chinese accent on phone: Poop!? Poop!? You poop on the floor!? How old are you?
Somerville, New Jersey
