PA system: Training for the new copier will begin at 11:30, training for copier at 11:30.
Partner: I think I'm gonna pass on the copy meeting, but can someone write me a memo on which green and red buttons to push?
Lawrenceville, New Jersey
Overheard by: lowly intern
Suit: Your last name is Smith. Are you related to a Nelson Smith?
Clerk: No, Smith is my marriage name. That reminds me; I need to file for divorce.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
CSR on phone with daughter: My mom never picked me up when I had cramps. You’re staying at school. Period.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Old lady #1: One time I had a pearl necklace, and part fell down my bra.
Old lady #2: I hate when that happens.
Old lady #1: I had to reach in there and scoop it out.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Male IT coworker to female IT coworker: You should not worry about my privates.
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Overheard by: Lisa
Dad: I swear, I am going to break her arm by the time she is two.
Mom: She is two.
Dad: Three, then.
Outback Steakhouse
Green Brook, New Jersey
Receptionist: Can I help you this morning?
Mom: Yes. I need a shot to keep my daughter from being a complete bitch.
Teen girl: Like they’ve invented that, Mom.
Chestnut Ridge Pediatrics
Woodcliffe Lake, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mothers Anonymous
Mail guy: Damn, you really want to get out of here.
Lawyer: Yes, like a bat out of hell.
Mail guy: Those are my sediments exactly.
212 Washington Street
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Elaine Van DeLay
Cop: Pick me up a diet water.
Secretary: If they don’t have diet, is regular okay?
Police department
New Jersey
Old lady: Are they big ones?
Young lady: You only want big ones?
Old lady: That's all I ever do anymore.
Young lady: I'll find you a couple big ones.
Old lady: What's big to you?
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
