Grunt: The mothers, the kids, everyone — cut ’em up and shred ’em!
506 Jersey Avenue
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: in the slurbs
Grunt: The mothers, the kids, everyone — cut ’em up and shred ’em!
506 Jersey Avenue
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: in the slurbs
Female executive VP on phone son: I'm not giving you money today. I'm not giving it to you. I'm not giving it to you. I'm not giving it to you. (pause) Michael, did you hear what I just said? I'm not giving you any money today. I'm. Not. Giving. You. Any. Money. Today. (pause) I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry. (pause) Yes, I'm serious. I gave you $50 yesterday and I said it had to last you until Friday. You're 21. You're 21. Get a job. (pause) I'm not giving you money today. Okay, bye. (pause) I love you too.
Montclair, New Jersey
Employee: I need the $5. Reimbursement from the basket I bought for the company.
Controller: Okay… I need a receipt.
Employee: I gave it to you.
Controller: When?
Employee: A year and a half ago.
Controller: Are you kidding?
Employee: No.
Lakewood, New Jersey
Attorney to client: Are you a predator taking advantage of her?
New Jersey
Coworker #1: How was your trip?
Coworker #2: I ate guacamole.
Coworker #1: Oh! I love guacamole!
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: Crying Inside
Boss: Maybe I’m suffering from a case of magnesia…uh, uh, you know, like I forget things.
75 Union Avenue
Rutherford, New Jersey
Girl: So, I just had my exit interview with HR and they were all like, “Be honest, why did you just up and quit out of nowhere?”
Guy: Did you tell them the truth?
Girl: I told them that I was in love with you, and that the sexual tension and frustration was creating a poor work environment for me.
Guy: So then you did tell the truth.
Route 1 South
West Windsor, New Jersey
50-something American manager: So you're going to Disney World on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and coming back Sunday? Have you see our airports when they're busy?
20-something Indian consultant: Have you seen our trains, anytime?
Wayne, New Jersey
Newbie: It's been a long day. A long week, actually.
Senior: It's been a long eight years for me.
Newbie: Wow. How are you still alive?
Senior: I don't know. I'm a soul survivor.
Newbie: Like that Rolling Stones song? Did they write that after you?
Senior: Yep. I'm the only one who can survive in this place.
Bayonne, New Jersey
Puzzled drone: is Chuck E. Cheese BYOB?
Whitehouse Station, New Jersey
Overheard by: Justin
