Coworker #1: How was your trip?
Coworker #2: I ate guacamole.
Coworker #1: Oh! I love guacamole!
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: Crying Inside
Coworker #1: How was your trip?
Coworker #2: I ate guacamole.
Coworker #1: Oh! I love guacamole!
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: Crying Inside
Boss: Maybe I’m suffering from a case of magnesia…uh, uh, you know, like I forget things.
75 Union Avenue
Rutherford, New Jersey
Girl: So, I just had my exit interview with HR and they were all like, “Be honest, why did you just up and quit out of nowhere?”
Guy: Did you tell them the truth?
Girl: I told them that I was in love with you, and that the sexual tension and frustration was creating a poor work environment for me.
Guy: So then you did tell the truth.
Route 1 South
West Windsor, New Jersey
50-something American manager: So you're going to Disney World on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and coming back Sunday? Have you see our airports when they're busy?
20-something Indian consultant: Have you seen our trains, anytime?
Wayne, New Jersey
Newbie: It's been a long day. A long week, actually.
Senior: It's been a long eight years for me.
Newbie: Wow. How are you still alive?
Senior: I don't know. I'm a soul survivor.
Newbie: Like that Rolling Stones song? Did they write that after you?
Senior: Yep. I'm the only one who can survive in this place.
Bayonne, New Jersey
Puzzled drone: is Chuck E. Cheese BYOB?
Whitehouse Station, New Jersey
Overheard by: Justin
Voice #1, on other side of the wall: You know, the one with the heroin thing and double-ended dildo!
(silence)
Voice #2: Are we still talking about movies?
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Amanda
Employee: I have to leave, my mother’s bleeding.
Manager: Again?
Employee: Bleeding somewhere down there [gestures below waist] — she’s not sure where.
Manager: What kind of doctor do you call for that?
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
CSR: I really hate it when customers are named that.
Supervisor: What?
CSR: ‘Dick.’ [Giggles] Because then I have to say that…
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Boss to distant customer inquiring about the weather: Holy fuck–it's rainin' harder than a cow pissin' on a flat rock.
Columbia, New Jersey
