Girl: Excuse me, do you carry tonic water?
Stock boy: Yeah, I think so. I mean, if we have it, it’s probably somewhere in the store.
Girl: Uh, thanks.
Schnooks
Memphis, Tennessee
Girl: Excuse me, do you carry tonic water?
Stock boy: Yeah, I think so. I mean, if we have it, it’s probably somewhere in the store.
Girl: Uh, thanks.
Schnooks
Memphis, Tennessee
Office manager: I mean, when we interview warehouse employees, why are we asking them if they have Excel experience?
Warehouse supervisor: What the hell is ‘Excel’?
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
GRE taker #1: That math section sure was hard.
GRE taker #2: Yeah, I was real confused with the angle-side-angle calculations.
GRE taker #1: I thought it was tough, too, but thankfully I took astrology last semester.
Fayetteville State University
Fayetteville, North Carolina
Designer to photo researcher: Try to find a nice child abuse shot.
10801 N. MoPac Expressway
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: always listening
Guy to his wife: Hey… look at this guy’s picture on the wall. He looks like he is miserable and doesn’t like being at work.
Home Depot Employee whose picture is on the wall: That was taken on a bad hair day!
Man: Oh… sorry. Where would you find paint?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Home Depot Shopper
Sales guy: He was from another country. A made-up country, though.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Clueless coworker on voicemail: Hello? [pause] Heelllooo?
Hmmm… [click]
13155 Noel Road
Dallas, Texas
Phone rings in spare office
Employee answers: Mc-J Advertising.
Psycho/prank caller: I can’t take it anymore because of bitches like you!!
Employee hangs up phone. Phone rings again.
Employee: Mc-J Advertising.
Psycho/prank caller: You bitch! You make me want to kill myself! I can’t take it anymore!!
Employee: Sir, this is an advertising agency. If you want to advertise your suicide, we can help you with that. Otherwise, you have the wrong number.
205 Brazos
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Valeri Marquart
BIG bigwig: I had a tunafish sandwich for lunch and all I can smell is tuna. Come here; smell me. Do I smell like tuna?
Smallwig: Nope. I know how you feel though. It just stays with you. Tuna definitely lingers.
Florida State University
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: so hard not to giggle
