Midsouth

2PM Expanding Customer Base

Phone rings in spare office
Employee answers: Mc-J Advertising.
Psycho/prank caller: I can’t take it anymore because of bitches like you!!
Employee hangs up phone. Phone rings again.
Employee: Mc-J Advertising.
Psycho/prank caller: You bitch! You make me want to kill myself! I can’t take it anymore!!
Employee: Sir, this is an advertising agency. If you want to advertise your suicide, we can help you with that. Otherwise, you have the wrong number.

205 Brazos
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Valeri Marquart

12PM Lunch

BIG bigwig: I had a tunafish sandwich for lunch and all I can smell is tuna. Come here; smell me. Do I smell like tuna?
Smallwig: Nope. I know how you feel though. It just stays with you. Tuna definitely lingers.

Florida State University
Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: so hard not to giggle

Go to Easy Street and Make a U-Turn

Drone #1: I hate moving. My stuff’s everywhere. I’m living in squalor!
Drone #2: I don’t know where that is.

Glen Lake Drive
Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: sladeripfire

…Which, Thanks to Lawrence V. Texas, I Can Finally Come Out and Say

Female engineer: I need to hear some boy bands.
Male coworker: Like ‘N Sync, 98 Degrees, Backdoor Boys.
Female engineer: I love back-door boys.

Airport Rd
Mansfield Texas

Can We Rinse Our Minds before Continuing This?

Elevator girl: I rode in the weenie mobile last night!
Elevator guy: Is that a euphemism?
Elevator girl: No! He really came! Oh…

Louisiana Street
Houston, Texas

For a Telemarketer Who Has an IQ above 70, Press ‘2’

Homeowner answering telephone: Hola.
Telemarketer, in broken English: I am calling to tell you about a new calling plan…
Homeowner: No habla Ingles.
Telemarketer: Do you speak English?
Homeowner: No habla Ingles.
Telemarketer, speaking very slowly: Then I will speak English very slowly to you.
Homeowner: No habla Ingles, adios.

921 South Irby Street
Florence, South Carolina

Overheard by: Dun Ben Ther

Either That or a Pair of Pants

Maintenance tech #1: Animal Control is on the way to remove the dead skunk carcass. I’ll let you know when they get here.
Maintenance tech #2: Uh, go ahead and call them back and tell them not to come. We checked it out and it’s a used banana peel.
Maintenance tech #1: Ten-four.

6400 Legacy Drive
Plano, Texas

Overheard by: Shaking Head

4PM Prepping for Happy Hour

Administrator: Here’s my theory on drunk driving: People get caught drunk driving because they never learned how to drive drunk when they were kids.

1445 Ross Avenue
Dallas, Texas

11AM Interview

Interviewer: Tell me about a time when you had to decide something quickly.
Applicant: When I quit my last job. Just one day, I’d had enough.
Interviewer: So…you didn’t give notice.
Applicant: It’s not like they didn’t know it was coming. They laid off a bunch of people later.
Interviewer: What do you think are your greatest strengths?
Applicant: I’m reliable. Very dependable.

301 Industrial Boulevard
Conway, Arkansas

Overheard by: Denise

12PM Lunch

Fat lady: I want your 21-piece bucket of chicken.
Rude employee: Is that for here, or to go?
Fat lady: You think I can eat this whole thing by myself?
Rude employee: I don’t know your life. Bitch!

1406 Saint Charles Avenue
New Orleans, Louisiana

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