Defense attorney: Objection, Your Honor. The prosecution continues to assert this witness is an expert but has offered no evidence to support the claim.
Judge: Sustained. Mr. Martin*, is this witness your expert?
Prosecutor: Yes, Your Honor.
Judge: Would you care to establish for the court why the witness is an expert in the field of pediatrics?
Prosecutor: Cause he…ummm…knows stuff?
State Court
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Xen
Customer: So, this Wild Mushroom Pizza, does it have mushrooms on it?
Waitress: Ummm, yeah.
701 Lynnhaven Parkway
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Cassandra
Coworker #1: So how did your tennis match go last night?
Brad*: Um, I’d rather not talk about it.
Coworker #2: Nobody wins when Brad wears tennis shorts.
Piedmont, South Carolina
Overheard by: Ape
Manager: So why do you want to work in a book store?
Teen: Um…I love reading books.
Manager: What’s the last book you read?
Teen: Uh…Umm…I don’t…[Giggles]…Umm…
Manager: Well, what’s your favorite book?
Teen: Um…
Manager: Okay.
Barnes & Noble, Irving Mall
Irving, Texas
Overheard by: Mongo Man
Coworker #1: What radio station do you listen to on your way to work?
Coworker #2: I listen to a Christian station so I can prepare myself for dealing with you assholes.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: one of the assholes
HR manager: How long do you plan to be with the company?
Girl interviewee: Until I find something better.
HR manager: Okay, I think that about does it. Thank you for coming in.
Brentwood, Tennessee
CSR: OK, sir, go ahead and click on the logo in the top left of your screen.
Customer, on phone: I don’t see that. I’m on a page that says "Welcome," then "My Profile."
CSR: OK, go ahead and click on "My Profile."
Customer: I don’t see that.
9800 Fredericksburg Road
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: Raydran
Woman: So if you’ve never done it before, it’s going to hurt the first time and maybe even bleed a bit.
Man: Uh huh.
Woman: So don’t be afraid. You should try it. It’s definitely worth it.
Other people in elevator shuffle uncomfortably.
Woman: Um…So flossing is crucial to good dental hygiene.
Elevator
Houston, Texas
Customer service clerk #1: Whew! It stinks in here. Did the bug exterminator guy spray for bugs in here today?
Customer service clerk #2: No, one of the sales reps just walked through. You are smelling salesman cologne.
5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Coworker on phone: You live in the country, they were there first! If you didn’t want any animals you should have lived in the city!
333 North Meridian
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: fransen comes alive
