Assistant: I just talked to the stupidest woman ever. It was an honor. At first it was frustrating before I was overcome by the joy.
141 River’s Edge Drive
Traverse City, Michigan
Overheard by: Heather
Assistant: I just talked to the stupidest woman ever. It was an honor. At first it was frustrating before I was overcome by the joy.
141 River’s Edge Drive
Traverse City, Michigan
Overheard by: Heather
Co-worker #1: Are you going to the Christmas party?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: Why not?
Co-worker #2: Because I am going to a funeral.
Co-Worker #1: I would rather go to a funeral than this Christmas party.
3001 West Big Beaver Road
Troy, Michigan
Tween girl: I wonder if these shorts will fit? I’m just going to try them on right here.
Girl’s father: Why don’t you go in a dressing room, honey? For God’s sake, have some modesty.
Tween girl: What’s modesty?
Moe’s Sport Shop
711 North University
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Coworker #1: You know I had trouble finding a Die Zauberflöte ringtone on my phone.
Coworker #2: You know I had the same problem too.
Livonia, Michigan
Secretary #1: It looks nice, don’t it?
Secretary #2: Did you just say, “it looks nice, don’t it?”…Doesn’t it! I’m just trying to get us ready for the bigwigs next week!
Secretary #1: It don’t matter, sweetie.
10559 Citation Drive
Brighton, Michigan
Overheard by: Abigail Fisher
Woman in line with unruly child: Now you stand there and behave! (two seconds later) Ow, don't you bite me!
Younger woman behind her: That reminds me, I have to pick up my birth control pills!
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Kevin
Rental manager: So I told my husband we should try that Enzyte or Extenze stuff. He was a little upset, but I told him, “you know what a big ol' slut I am, I wouldn't have married you if you didn't pay the bills and cut the mustard.”
Ypsilanti, Michigan
Recruiter selling a prospective employee on the company: We don’t consider them “departments” so much as “teams”, because the…uh, flow…rolls…from one to the other…
Eisenhower Parkway
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: …and I thought that ‘rolled downhill’…
Secretary to coworker, about wife's recent knee replacement surgery: So did your wife get one of those titanic knees?
Coworker: You mean “titanium.” Yes.
St. Clair Shores, Michigan
Coworker: Why did you move to Atlanta?
Customer: Just looking for greener pastures.
Coworker: Oh, are you in livestock?
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: plz shoot me now
