40-something coworker: I have a headache. I need a meat sandwich.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Maybe you should post on Craigslist
40-something coworker: I have a headache. I need a meat sandwich.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Maybe you should post on Craigslist
Older female customer: I found this in a pair of pants. What is it, some kind of seasoning?
Clerk: Well… Some people call it a seasoning. Other people call it “marijuana.”
Salvation Army
Ithaca, New York
Patient: Are there are any restrictions to take after having my injections?
Nurse: Do not eat beef.
Patient: What about eggs?
Nurse: Eggs are okay.
Patient: But eggs are from cows…
Beverly Hills, California
Art director, after particularly greasy lunch: Uhhh. My fingers smell worse than it tasted.
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: the new guy
Female teacher: You squashed my banana!
Male teacher: Here, just have my banana.
Female teacher: I don't want your banana.
Male teacher: Look, just eat my banana.
Female teacher: No!
(male teacher walks away in disgust)
Female teacher, shouting after him: I only like lady fingers!
Barwon Heads
Australia
Admin #1: What are you eating? it smells terrible.
Admin #2: It's yogurt, for Christ's sake!
Admin #1: What kind of yogurt?
Admin #2: Strawberry yogurt!
Admin #1: With curdled strawberries! It stinks!
Admin #2: Look, Joe* was just here using the microwave to heat up ass.
Admin #1: That ass smelled delicious.
Fordham University
The Bronx, New York
Coworker on phone: My cell phone stopped working, it fell into the soup I had for lunch. What should I do?
Seattle, Washington
Older female coworker to younger female coworker: That's the trouble with eating an apple at your desk, the juice runs down your chin and everywhere.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: James
Admin, poking head into boss' office: What's that smell?!
Boss: You can smell that?!
Admin: Yes, and it's definitely coming from here.
Boss: I got a sub and they put onions on it! I finally figured it out and moved my trash can outside the office!
Admin: Thanks a lot! It reeks.
Boss: Better you than me!
Admin: The perks of having a closed office.
Ottawa
Canadia
Fattest guy in the office: I wish they had Diet Sprite in the cafeteria.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
