…So Do I Have the Principal Job or What?

Vice principal at Catholic high school: I'm really into sausage.

Aurora, Illinois

Posted on March 24, 2011
Illinois, Meals and Snacks, Possible Sexual Harassment, Teachers, Weirdness, Words

…I Won't Make That Mistake Again.

Coworker #1: So I have this recipe for microwaveable fried rice. You might like it. I'll bring it in tomorrow.
Coworker #2: Did you just tell me, an Asian, to make microwave fried rice?! Not to mention if it's microwaved, then it's not fried rice. It's microwave rice.
Coworker #1: Well you gave me that chicken recipe the other day, and this recipe looks good so I thought I'd share it.
Coworker #2: Yeah? Well, liquid poop looks good too because it reminds me of chocolate, but you don't see me eating it.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 23, 2011
Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

It's Important to Have Good Support at Home.

Female coworker, about keeping bananas alive longer: I have a banana hammock, too!

World Trade Center
Arkansas

Overheard by: CorporateDrone

Posted on February 25, 2011
Arkansas, Clothes, Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Weirdness, Words

If Aesop Lived in New Jersey

Colleague: I just ate a pen cap thinking it was a tootsie roll. Always look before putting stuff in your mouth.

Plainsboro, New Jersey

Overheard by: oh dear

Posted on February 25, 2011
Accidents, Advice, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, New Jersey

Deciding to Kill Yourself Is Very Liberating, Ma'am

Middle-aged woman: Can I have extra sauerkraut with that? I love sauerkraut but never get it at home, even though I live in a neighborhood with lots of German food. It gives me gas.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: formerteenhero

Posted on February 24, 2011
Customers, Feelings, Illinois, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Sensory Experiences

Which Explains Why I Choose to Work with a Bunch Of Dicks.

Host #1: Can I have a piece of your gum?
Host #2: Sure.
Host #1: Thanks. Why do you always chew gum?
Host #2: I know this sounds weird, but I always feel like I need to have something in my mouth.

Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Speechless Server

Posted on February 24, 2011
Employees, Meals and Snacks, Nebraska, Offers and requests, Questions, Sensory Experiences

Food Is My Drug Of Choice

Coworker #1: Does anyone want anything for lunch?
Coworker #2: Family-size KFC, and I'm not sharing any of it.

Manhattan, New York

Posted on February 21, 2011
Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, New York, Offers and requests, Wishes

Interestingly, That May Be the Dirtiest Thing Ever Said in This Office.

Model, pulling something out of sleeve: Oh, that's where that went. (pops it in her mouth).
Director: Did you just eat sleeve cheese?

Adult Film Company
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: fetishgirl

Posted on February 16, 2011
Bimbettes, California, Clothes, Meals and Snacks, Questions

You Just Said a Mouthful, Lady.

60-something woman, fumbling through kitchen: I'm looking for a good teabag. It's been a rough day and I just really need a good teabag.

New Haven, Connecticut

Posted on February 15, 2011
Connecticut, Employees, Feelings, Meals and Snacks, Weirdness, Wishes

Raise Your Hand If You're Curious About the Jam Incident

Puzzled IT worker holding tortilla in one hand and piece of raw cod in the other: So what you're saying is that this isn't sushi?
Coworker: It's not sushi.
IT worker: But it's raw fish!
Coworker: Well, sushi is a special kind of way of preparing it. That's just a piece of cod you bought from the fishmongers, wrapped in a tortilla.
IT worker: So… I shouldn't eat it?
Coworker: No… This is like the jam incident, isn't it?
IT worker: Fuck you! Jam is healthy–there's bloody fruit in it!
Coworker: And you wonder why you're single…

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on February 10, 2011
Accidents, Compliments, Coworkers, England, Meals and Snacks, Questions

Meals and Snacks