Coworker #1, seeing coworker #2 bring a plate of food: Don't expect this all the time. By the way, thanks for breakfast this morning.
Coworker #2: See? It's quid faux crow!
Coworker #1: Umm… No. It's not.
Leawood, Kansas
Overheard by: The Grammar Nazi
Marketing guy to PR girl: You'd better go home and eat your asparagus and get some sleep, because we have to be up at the crack of shitty dawn tomorrow.
Ontario
Canadia
Accountant #1: You know, French onion soup has beef-stock in it.
Accountant #2: But it's not like, real meat, it's just… boiled.
Accountant #1: Don't tell me, tell Jesus!
Albany, New York
HR employee, eating jelly beans: I've segregated out the black ones because they're gross.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Receptionist on phone: I'm never making a loaf again!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Justin
Cheese-smelling proletariat: I have a big appetite for a little person. I mean, I can put it away! I am a small person, though I don't look too small lately.
State Agency
Austin, Texas
Peon: I think I'm going Indian for lunch.
Manhattan, New York
Peon #1: I'm gonna eat lunch while I work.
Peon #2: I thought it was whistle while you work?
Peon #1: I can do both at the same time.
Peon #2: Really? At the same time? I'd like to see that!
Peon #1: Well first I would swallow, then I'd blow!
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Female coworker: Bob*, that was so sweet. I am going to spread that around.
Male coworker: I'm glad you enjoyed it. I've got more, so you're welcome to come back.
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: Meaghan
Office guy #1, eating holiday fudge from container: This is really good. Where'd this come from?
Office guy #2, pleased: Where all good fudge comes from!
Office guy #1: Where's that?
Office guy #2: From the fudge fairy!
Office guy #1, hesitant: Did you pack it yourself?
Los Angeles, California
