Officemate #1: I’m going to a scary restaurant tonight.
Officemate #2: Why is it scary? What kind of food do they serve?
Officemate #1: Grown-up food…I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little worried.
1251 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
Overheard by: Rick
Co-worker: Avoid the bathroom in about an hour, you-know-who just sat down to eat some pea soup.
1 International Plaza
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: courtesy flush
Account Exec: …I stopped by this morning to go over stuff from the call but you were out. Were you at [the client]’s?
VP: No, actually, to be perfectly honest, I just ate way too many grapes this morning.
555 Sparkman Drive NW
Huntsville, Alabama
Suit #1: Why didn’t you guys invite [Joe] to eat with us?
Suit #2: Well, we asked him to come but he responded with gibberish and broke out in foreign tongues.
Suit #3: Yeah, I think he’s a terrorist.
US Department of State
2121 Virginia Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bradley
Co-worker #1: We’re having an office roast for Bob on Friday, since it’s his last day.
Co-worker #2: What do I need to bring?
Co-worker #1: You know, jokes, stories about him, like that.
Co-worker #2: That’s it? Who’s going to cook the roast?
2155 S. Bascom Avenue
Campbell, California
IT Consultant: It’s kinda like grain is to bread as meat is to wurst.
Highway 280
East Birmingham, Alabama
Old lady #1: Tea bag? I can't get the teabag to work.
Old lady #2: Why not? It's not like you're bothering anyone.
Old lady #1: Well, I'd have to lay down and my face might get wet from the teabag.
Old lady #2: Yeah, you don't want teabag juice gettin' all over your face.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Boss to HR: You do that again and I'll stick my finger in your chicken.
Irvine, California
Overheard by: TravisPeriod
Coworker #1, seeing coworker #2 bring a plate of food: Don't expect this all the time. By the way, thanks for breakfast this morning.
Coworker #2: See? It's quid faux crow!
Coworker #1: Umm… No. It's not.
Leawood, Kansas
Overheard by: The Grammar Nazi
Marketing guy to PR girl: You'd better go home and eat your asparagus and get some sleep, because we have to be up at the crack of shitty dawn tomorrow.
Ontario
Canadia
