Old lady #1: Tea bag? I can't get the teabag to work.
Old lady #2: Why not? It's not like you're bothering anyone.
Old lady #1: Well, I'd have to lay down and my face might get wet from the teabag.
Old lady #2: Yeah, you don't want teabag juice gettin' all over your face.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Boss to HR: You do that again and I'll stick my finger in your chicken.
Irvine, California
Overheard by: TravisPeriod
Coworker #1, seeing coworker #2 bring a plate of food: Don't expect this all the time. By the way, thanks for breakfast this morning.
Coworker #2: See? It's quid faux crow!
Coworker #1: Umm… No. It's not.
Leawood, Kansas
Overheard by: The Grammar Nazi
Marketing guy to PR girl: You'd better go home and eat your asparagus and get some sleep, because we have to be up at the crack of shitty dawn tomorrow.
Ontario
Canadia
Accountant #1: You know, French onion soup has beef-stock in it.
Accountant #2: But it's not like, real meat, it's just… boiled.
Accountant #1: Don't tell me, tell Jesus!
Albany, New York
HR employee, eating jelly beans: I've segregated out the black ones because they're gross.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Receptionist on phone: I'm never making a loaf again!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Justin
Cheese-smelling proletariat: I have a big appetite for a little person. I mean, I can put it away! I am a small person, though I don't look too small lately.
State Agency
Austin, Texas
Peon: I think I'm going Indian for lunch.
Manhattan, New York
Peon #1: I'm gonna eat lunch while I work.
Peon #2: I thought it was whistle while you work?
Peon #1: I can do both at the same time.
Peon #2: Really? At the same time? I'd like to see that!
Peon #1: Well first I would swallow, then I'd blow!
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
