Office girl: I think someone brought in a mail-order nanny on penis cake day.
Scarborough
Canadia
Overheard by: C.note
Office girl: I think someone brought in a mail-order nanny on penis cake day.
Scarborough
Canadia
Overheard by: C.note
Employee over intercom: Stan*, please come to the office for food consumption.
Drug store
Wood River, Illinois
Chick shoving sandwich at guy: Do you want this?
Guy: No, why? You don’t want it?
Chick: No, I’m stuffed. I just had an ass-load of salami.
Guy: So, what does that feel like?
401 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: brooklynhero
Employee #1: I think you were aiding and abetting a felony.
Employee #2: Yay, it's been a big day. I made brownies.
Chicago, Illinois
Employee #1: May I take your order, please?
Drive-thru customer: I want a Double Whopper, plain — only cheese and a little mustard.
Employee #1: … I’m sorry, we don’t sell Double Whoppers here.
Customer: Oh, you don’t? Okay, let me get just a Whopper, then.
Employee #2: Sir, we don’t sell Whoppers. This is Wendy’s.
Customer, unfazed: Oh. Okay then.
1066 Independence Boulevard
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: wage slave
Older woman: It isn’t good for your metabolism to eat too little.
Younger woman: Yeah, I remember when I was a kid and saw those starving African kids on TV. I said, “They aren’t fat, look at their bellies!” That’s what happens when you don’t eat enough, you get bloated.
1500 University Drive
Billings, Montana
Co-worker #1: Do you want to go to lunch?
Co-worker #2: I’m on a diet.
Co-worker #1: But we’re going to get ice cream afterward.
800 E. 96th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Editor: Oh, get me a cinnamon roll too. Here’s a twenty.
Reporter: A twenty? The only people that have money in the middle of the week are drug dealers.
169 West Nepessing Street
Lapeer, Michigan
Female co-worker: Ooh, this melon is so juicy!
Male co-worker: For God’s sake, it’s like being on the set of an amateur porn film with you, sometimes.
5 Fitzalan Place
Cardiff, Wales
Overheard by: Mark Jenkins
Boss: What should we call it? Try thinking animal names.
Employee #1: What about “Kumquat”?
Employee #2: A kumquat isn’t an animal.
Boss: I like your thinking though.
45 Main Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Producer: No! No! They don’t get chocolate back there! They’re not part of the team!
12 West 27th Street
New York, NY
