Broker #1: Why is she laughing?
Broker #2: She already told you — she thinks it’s funny to buy gag candy and make everyone in the office fart.
Broker #1 laughs.
Broker #2: I mean, she’s so young. We all want to kill the other people in the office and she just wants to make them fart.
Broker #1: Look at her, she’s still laughing.
Broker #2: Ah, youth. All they do is giggle.
399 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: LH
Coworker on way to office birthday party: Let's go eat some of this birth cake.
Pal: Technically, it's “after-birth” cake.
Erie Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Admin Ass
Male employee #1: What did you bring for lunch today?
Male employee #2: A salami sandwich.
Male employee #1: That's it? You can't just have salami as your main meat! You can garnish with salami, but you have to have other meat.
Des Moines, Iowa
Barista, handing cup over to customer: Are you a coffee drinker?
Starbucks
Des Moines, Iowa
Receptionist to clerk: Kitty just brought one of those little hybrid cars that get a thousand miles to the gallon. How the hell does she plan to get her big fat Oompa-Loompa children crammed into that little thing?
Kitty, walking into office: Are you guys talking about the Willy Wonka movie? My kids just love those candy bars they sell at the dollar store!
Orlando, Florida
Saleswoman to another, returning from restroom: Damn, that Indian food really does clean you out!
Friend: Yeah, its like Roto-Rooter!
Saks Fifth Ave
Overheard by: agreed
Queen: I tell you what you do. You put her computer inside a Krispy Kreme box, maybe then she’ll get some work done.
142 Greene Street
New York, NY
Good listener #1: Have you tried mango Propel?
Good listener #2: Nope.
Good listener #1: Is it any good?
Human Services, Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: uberkt
Assistant: I'm going to Starbucks; can I get you anything?
IT tech: What's Starbucks?
Lawrence, Kansas
Overheard by: a girl who HASN'T been living under a rock
New guy to female coworker, handing her lunch menu: You look like someone who would be interested in this.
Female coworker: What is that supposed to mean?
New guy: Oh.
Main Street
Watertown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: so glad i'm not male
