Coworker on phone: I made some really good roasted vegetables with polenta last night, you should have been there. (pause) No, that's a placenta.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Shannon
Coworker on phone: I made some really good roasted vegetables with polenta last night, you should have been there. (pause) No, that's a placenta.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Shannon
Coworker: I can’t believe they raised the price of their chicken salads! I mean, chicken is, like, the bologna of meats!
1400 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Boss: I think I'm going to start keeping a supply of Bailey's in my desk to mix with my coffee to make the day more bearable.
Surprised secretary: Seriously?
Boss: Not really, but it would be awesome.
Secretary: I guess it would make it better.
Boss: Like two cups…then you would be set for the day. And plus, your tolerance would be higher preparing you for the weekend. It's two birds with one stone.
Secretary: Wanna go at lunch?
Judicial Drive
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Can I Come With?
Manager, shaking leg after a slapping fart: Oh, that had a little meat to it…
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Coworker #1: My stomach is upset today, I have the shits.
Coworker #2: Yeah, I like chips…
Pennsylvania
Angry suit on cell: Get me the money or I take your ass to court. I’ll take your ass to court.
Barista: Ummm… sir? Can I get you something to drink?
Angry suit on cell: Yes, I’d like a triple mocha. [To cell.] I mean it. I’ll sue your ass, you greedy, lying Italian bastard.
Barista: Sir, would you like whipped cream on your mocha?
Angry suit on cell: Like hell you’ll get me the money by June. You were supposed to give it to me back in September. [To barista.] Extra whipped cream, thanks.
W Washington St
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Customer, looking at a damaged mobile home: How did that happen?
Mechanic: The guy put it on cruise control and went into the back to make a sandwich.
Repair Center
England
Overheard by: Rob
Receptionist to coworker: Bagels can absorb alcohol just as easily as eggs and sausage!
Manhattan, New York
Big fat receptionist: Ooh what is that?
Office worker #1: A caramel mochiatto from Starbucks.
Big fat receptionist: I hope you brought me one!
Office worker #2: Do you have any idea how many calories are in one of those?
200 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Sebastian O’Conner
Angry manager: I don't like hairy things on my pizza.
Stark Street
Portland, Oregon
