Art teacher, looking at another eating Pringles: Pringles are the perfect chip, based on the texture, shape, and lines. They fit perfectly in your mouth.
History teacher: I don't know. If you asked me, I'd just prefer a Lay.
Teacher's Lounge
Marvell, Arkansas
Overheard by: They Let Me Teach Children
Coworker #1: I feel as though I had a one night stand with this muffin. I only took one bite.
Coworker #2: It's not your fault that it's not the type of person you call back.
Coworker #1: This muffin's a skank.
Coworker #2: I want to marry this bagel.
Chicago, Illinois
Male office worker: So, what kind of nuts do you like?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Sean
Coworker #1: Oh, so because I'm black I must like cake? Is that how it is?
Coworker #2: Yep, pretty much. So, want some cake?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: WD40
Tech support guy on phone: Hi, I was wondering if you had a hair dryer?
…No, I have a meeting in about an hour, and I spilled coffee on my pants, and I don’t want to go this meeting with wet pants.
…I figured since you have such beautiful hair that you probably have a hair dryer.
…Well, thanks anyway, but a curling iron is probably not going to work.
160 Rio Robles
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Mitch Shiver
Co-worker on phone: Okay, go home and make dinner and await further instructions.
133 Littleton Road
Westford, Massachusetts
Coworker on phone: I made some really good roasted vegetables with polenta last night, you should have been there. (pause) No, that's a placenta.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Shannon
Coworker: I can’t believe they raised the price of their chicken salads! I mean, chicken is, like, the bologna of meats!
1400 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Boss: I think I'm going to start keeping a supply of Bailey's in my desk to mix with my coffee to make the day more bearable.
Surprised secretary: Seriously?
Boss: Not really, but it would be awesome.
Secretary: I guess it would make it better.
Boss: Like two cups…then you would be set for the day. And plus, your tolerance would be higher preparing you for the weekend. It's two birds with one stone.
Secretary: Wanna go at lunch?
Judicial Drive
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Can I Come With?
Manager, shaking leg after a slapping fart: Oh, that had a little meat to it…
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
