Salesguy on phone: I got your nuts right here!!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Salesguy on phone: I got your nuts right here!!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Employee #1: Do we have any Band-Aids in the back?
Manager, after long pause: Uh…I don’t think so.
Employee #2: Oh, Susan* said we did. I need one.
Manager: Um…I’m pretty sure we don’t, but I’ll look.
After disappearing in the back for 5 minutes, manager comes back out to the register.
Employee #1: So there were none back there?
Manager: Nope.
Employee #2: I’m sure there are some. Not even in the first aid kit?
Manager, after another long pause: Oooh! Band-Aids! I thought you said, “Mayonnaise”!
Victoria’s Secret
New Mexico
Co-worker #1: You smell of fish!
Co-worker #2: I’ve been at a fishmongers!
Co-worker #1: Oh! I thought it was an urban myth but they actually do sell fish at a fishmongers?
Co-worker #2: …What?
Commercial Road
Hull, East Yorkshire
UK
Overheard by: Simon Green
Office manager, heating up lunch: “Just add water and microwave for four minutes.” No, that has too many directions.
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Confused
Art teacher, looking at another eating Pringles: Pringles are the perfect chip, based on the texture, shape, and lines. They fit perfectly in your mouth.
History teacher: I don't know. If you asked me, I'd just prefer a Lay.
Teacher's Lounge
Marvell, Arkansas
Overheard by: They Let Me Teach Children
Coworker #1: I feel as though I had a one night stand with this muffin. I only took one bite.
Coworker #2: It's not your fault that it's not the type of person you call back.
Coworker #1: This muffin's a skank.
Coworker #2: I want to marry this bagel.
Chicago, Illinois
Male office worker: So, what kind of nuts do you like?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Sean
Coworker #1: Oh, so because I'm black I must like cake? Is that how it is?
Coworker #2: Yep, pretty much. So, want some cake?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: WD40
Tech support guy on phone: Hi, I was wondering if you had a hair dryer?
…No, I have a meeting in about an hour, and I spilled coffee on my pants, and I don’t want to go this meeting with wet pants.
…I figured since you have such beautiful hair that you probably have a hair dryer.
…Well, thanks anyway, but a curling iron is probably not going to work.
160 Rio Robles
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Mitch Shiver
Co-worker on phone: Okay, go home and make dinner and await further instructions.
133 Littleton Road
Westford, Massachusetts
