Office drone: What does this apple taste like, and is it crunchy?
Tempe, Arizona
Office drone: What does this apple taste like, and is it crunchy?
Tempe, Arizona
Owner: 28 cents isn’t a lot, but after 100 times spending it, that’s $28. Listen man, $28 is a bottle of champagne! Instead of throwing it in the trash can, I can drink it, man! $28 on top of $28…That starts to add up to a few bottles of champage and pretty girls and a nice dinner!
8860 NW 24th Terrace
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Amanda
Boss: He wants her to go down on the cheese.
Beverly, Massachusetts
Customer: I’ll take this sushi and the spicy chicken with brown rice.
Girl at counter: Do you want dark meat or sub with all natural chicken breast?
Customer: I don’t know — it’s not for me, it’s for a coworker.
Girl at counter: Is it a guy or a girl?
Customer: A guy.
Girl at counter: Just get the dark chicken. He’ll never tell the difference.
Customer: He’s gay.
Girl at counter: Oh. Then get the white meat.
1303 South Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Pracca
Coworker #1: What kind of creamer is that?
Coworker #2: It's Bailey's.
Coworker #1: You put Bailey's in your coffee at work?
Coworker #2: Yeah, I always put Bailey's in my coffee. It's not that strong or anything.
Coworker #1: Can I get some of that?
Des Plaines, Illinois
Coworker #1: I brought these back from vacation. Would you like to try a chocolate-covered ant?
Coworker #2: No, thank you. I’m a vegetarian.
Coworker #1: But they’re dead!
Tremont Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Monkey in the Box Office
Boss #1: Did you have enough to eat today?
Boss #2: No.
Boss #1: I can tell — you tucked in your shirt.
Kapiolani Boulevard
Honolulu, Hawaii
Boy, at 2:30 am: Hi, can I have 240 nuggets?
McDonald's
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Female coworker: So, how was it?
Male coworker: Oh my god. We put the phone on mute and talked amongst ourselves. The other two people left the room, I don't know where they are.
Female coworker: Painful, right?
Male coworker: St. Patrick used that presentation to drive the snakes out of Ireland. He played it and after an hour the snakes had enough.
Female coworker: He's the worst. I have no idea how someone allows him to put his pistol in their holster.
Male coworker: I like that one. I would rather beat off with a cheese grater than listen to that again.
Manhattan, New York
Excited graduate assistant: Cadbury cream eggs are like the Jesus of Easter!
Faculty passerby: Wait, what?
Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio
