Meals and Snacks

Jamaican contractor: Hey, have some coconut.
White employee: No, man, I'm full.
Jamaican contractor: Dude, this is a coconut. It doesn't matter how full you are.

Edmonton
Canadia

Assistant: I went to the grocery store this past weekend. Do you know my kids drank five two-liters of Pepsi since then? Three and a half kids drank five bottles of Pepsi.
Sales guy: What’d you do with the other half a kid? … That must have been awful!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Manager: Wow! I guess if we don’t have a receptionist, we don’t get any coffee.
Peon: I could make some if you want…
Manager: Really? You know how to do that?

Miami, Florida

Overheard by: I can cook too

Coworker: You're pissed at me because Dave* wants to eat you!?

Alpharetta, Georgia

Dingbat CSR, answering phone while eating at desk: Mmmmfff… I apologize, sir, I have nuts in my mouth.

Castle Rock, Colorado

Overheard by: Sparky

Birthday cake passer outer: Hey, don’t you want a fork?
Old, creepy IT guy: No, I’ll just finger it.

Highwoods Parkway
Glen Allen, Virginia

Overheard by: Not even surprised

Cute chick holding up water bottle: Has this water gone bad?

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: only cause i peed in it

Coworker #1: Oh my god, I'm so tired, can we get coffee?
Coworker #2: Sure, I'll just finish this… (phone rings)
Coworker #1, answering phone: Good morning, Melody sleeping!

White Plains, New York

Overheard by: V

Front desk girl to maintenance guy, about her empty water bottle: Yeah, there were no babies in it like last time.

5055 International Boulevard
North Charleston, South Carolina

Office drone: What does this apple taste like, and is it crunchy?

Tempe, Arizona