Doctor: Who is that?
Assistant: It’s Dr. Smith, he wants to know if you are going to the meeting.
Doctor: What, I can’t go to the bathroom first? Tell ’em I’m peeing.
York Ave
New York, New York
Overheard by: the other assistant
Doctor: Who is that?
Assistant: It’s Dr. Smith, he wants to know if you are going to the meeting.
Doctor: What, I can’t go to the bathroom first? Tell ’em I’m peeing.
York Ave
New York, New York
Overheard by: the other assistant
Project director: Okay. Let's cut to the cheese.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: GottaGoNow!
Admin #1: Oooh, there’s cheesecake in the fridge!
Admin #2: I don’t really like cheesecake.
Admin #1: There’s pecan pie, too.
Admin #2: I only like pecan pie if I make it.
Admin #1: What?!
Admin #2: I said, I only like pecan pie if I make it.
Admin #1: Oh! I thought you said ‘if I’m naked’!
619 Dolley Madison Road
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Not the receptionist
Boss to office (about imminent website launch): Five minutes to go live!
Boss to sysadmin: Are you going to do anything?
Sysadmin to boss: I'm diabetic, I need a burrito.
Boss to office: Go live delayed for burrito.
Tucson, Arizona
VP Fundraising: Mmm the aqueous coating on this brochure smells delicious.
Publication Manager: That’s the residue from my Krispy Kreme.
2300 4th Ave.
Rock Island, Illinois
Overheard by: Holly Sparkman
Coworker #1: We had our monthly departmental breakfast this morning, and Lauren* just wouldn't stop going on about how she never eats sausage. But she sure looks like she eats a lot of sausage.
Coworker #2: Come on, man–we all know that Lauren has never even seen a sausage in her life!
Bellevue, Washington
Peon #1: This is going to sound stupid…
Peon #2: Don't say it then.
Peon #1: No, but seriously: when I eat peanuts, it tastes like peanut butter.
Peon #2: (stares in disbelief, then walks away)
Adelaide
South Australia
Overheard by: plethora
Woman #1 in line at cafeteria: That one girl never gives out the big portions. She must be cheap.
Woman #2: I know, eh? She seems slow, too. Do you think she’s retarded?
Woman #1: Yeah, Down’s-lite.
Front Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: nothingsacred
Male coworker #1, walking up to soda machine: Yippee, a free soda!
Female coworker: That's good karma.
Male coworker #1: Yeah, I earned this! Whoever lost this did some bad things.
(walks out smiling with two sodas)
Male coworker #2, entering: Hey! Who took my drink? I left it while I went to the bathroom.
Female coworker: What were you doing in the bathroom?
San Diego, California
Worker: Lemon cod, please. With pasta and–
Server: Pasta’s an entree. Not a side.
Worker: Oh, I didn’t see it on the entree sign.
Server: That’s because it’s a side.
9000 Wisconsin Avenue
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Barb
