Meals and Snacks

Coordination director to coworker who just asked complicated question: What? I'm eating carrots, so I can't hear. And something in the dressing is making me sweaty. Are you ready for our meeting?

Albany, New York

Overheard by: the equivalent of

Office lady: I kept the Crock-Pot under my desk and stirred the meatballs all day.

Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: Scared of the foot food

The boss is laughing hysterically.

Peon: Are you okay?
Boss: I’m okay.
Peon: Are you sure?
Boss: I told you that I thought Wendy’s spiked my Coke.
Peon: With what? Crack?
Boss: Spiked my Coke with crack!

3100 W. Lake Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Worker #1: Thanks for the pretzels.
Worker #2: Oh, now the bag is dirty.
Worker #1: I’ll have you know my hands are clean. I sit here at my desk and sanitize them all day.
Worker #3: You know, I can sanitize you. All women need to be sanitized.

9725 Datapoint Drive
San Antonio, Texas

Coworker, waving around a Stanley knife: I keep picking this up thinking it's a banana.

Sydney
Australia

Female coworker to male coworker: I need some edible glitter!

Dallas, Texas

Office lady #1: What are you bringing tomorrow?
Office lady #2: Muffin tops.
Office lady #1: What are those?
Office lady #3: Uhhhh… the tops of muffins.
Office lady #1: Where from?

Birmingham, Alabama

Office worker #1: Have you ever noticed that dog feet smell like popcorn?
Office worker #2: That is going to be my quote of the week!

Fairbanks, Alaska

Overheard by: nunyabidnizz

Doctor: Who is that?
Assistant: It’s Dr. Smith, he wants to know if you are going to the meeting.
Doctor: What, I can’t go to the bathroom first? Tell ’em I’m peeing.

York Ave
New York, New York

Overheard by: the other assistant

Project director: Okay. Let's cut to the cheese.

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: GottaGoNow!