The boss is laughing hysterically.
Peon: Are you okay?
Boss: I’m okay.
Peon: Are you sure?
Boss: I told you that I thought Wendy’s spiked my Coke.
Peon: With what? Crack?
Boss: Spiked my Coke with crack!
3100 W. Lake Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Worker #1: Thanks for the pretzels.
Worker #2: Oh, now the bag is dirty.
Worker #1: I’ll have you know my hands are clean. I sit here at my desk and sanitize them all day.
Worker #3: You know, I can sanitize you. All women need to be sanitized.
9725 Datapoint Drive
San Antonio, Texas
Coworker, waving around a Stanley knife: I keep picking this up thinking it's a banana.
Sydney
Australia
Female coworker to male coworker: I need some edible glitter!
Dallas, Texas
Office lady #1: What are you bringing tomorrow?
Office lady #2: Muffin tops.
Office lady #1: What are those?
Office lady #3: Uhhhh… the tops of muffins.
Office lady #1: Where from?
Birmingham, Alabama
Office worker #1: Have you ever noticed that dog feet smell like popcorn?
Office worker #2: That is going to be my quote of the week!
Fairbanks, Alaska
Overheard by: nunyabidnizz
Doctor: Who is that?
Assistant: It’s Dr. Smith, he wants to know if you are going to the meeting.
Doctor: What, I can’t go to the bathroom first? Tell ’em I’m peeing.
York Ave
New York, New York
Overheard by: the other assistant
Project director: Okay. Let's cut to the cheese.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: GottaGoNow!
Admin #1: Oooh, there’s cheesecake in the fridge!
Admin #2: I don’t really like cheesecake.
Admin #1: There’s pecan pie, too.
Admin #2: I only like pecan pie if I make it.
Admin #1: What?!
Admin #2: I said, I only like pecan pie if I make it.
Admin #1: Oh! I thought you said ‘if I’m naked’!
619 Dolley Madison Road
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Not the receptionist
Boss to office (about imminent website launch): Five minutes to go live!
Boss to sysadmin: Are you going to do anything?
Sysadmin to boss: I'm diabetic, I need a burrito.
Boss to office: Go live delayed for burrito.
Tucson, Arizona
