Teacher: Can you say, ‘Open the door’ in Spanish?
Preschooler: Open the door in Spanish.
Learning center
Bloomington, Indiana
Teacher: Can you say, ‘Open the door’ in Spanish?
Preschooler: Open the door in Spanish.
Learning center
Bloomington, Indiana
Librarian: Jeans, brain and behavior?
Student: Uh, genes with a G.
Librarian: Like this? Gene’s brain and behavior?
Student: There’s no apostrophe.
Librarian: I’m not getting any results.
Student: Well, I’m pretty sure it’s officially spelled with an ampersand.
Librarian: A what?
Addlestone Library
Charleston, South Carolina
Susan*: What language was that?
Office lady, hanging up phone: Croatian.
Susan: Oh, wow, I didn’t know you were black. [Entire office goes silent.]Boss, from his office: Susan*, you’re fired.
Garden City, New York
HR lady: I remember your name. What’s your name?
School
Fairfield, Ohio
CSR, after completing a phone call with customer: He just sounds strange on the phone. He's either foreign or from Canada. I don't know which.
Romulus, Michigan
Intern: So yeah, the first twenty minutes I was just sitting next to him in the breakroom I didn’t say a single word.
Engineer: Does he freak you out that much?
Intern: Well no, I just thought he didn’t speak any English.
Engineer: So you finally said something?
Intern: Yeah, I tried to make some small talk by asking what cubicle he sits in. But he spent the next 5-10 minutes trying to explain.
Engineer: He’s not that bad at English…
Intern: I don’t know. He kept asking what direction was North. By the time I made him point to it, I wished I never said anything. Seriously, what do cardinal directions have to do with your cubicle?
41131 Vincenti Court
Novi, Michigan
Coworker: So this e-mail came in, in Dutch writing, so how would I find out if it came from Australia?
Call Center
Northeast Pennsylvania
Coworker staring at beeping microwave: I heard you the first time, Fran.
220 West 3rd Street
Denver, Colorado
Young girl: Mr. Lion! Hello, Mr. Lion!
Mom: I think that’s a jaguar.
Young girl: Hello, Mr. Lion!
Mom: That’s not a lion, sweetie, that’s a jaguar.
Young girl: Okay, mom, but I can’t say that word. Mr. Lion!
Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: James
Office drone #1: Have you ever been to Chinatown for dim sum?
Office drone #2: Is that a drug?
Chicago, Illinois
