Manager, preparing staff party: Oh my God, look! I cut so much cheese I got a blister!
City Centre Building
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Overheard by: evil twin
Manager, preparing staff party: Oh my God, look! I cut so much cheese I got a blister!
City Centre Building
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Overheard by: evil twin
Co-worker #1: Okay guys, I’ll see you next week. I’m heading off to Tennessee to see relatives.
Co-worker #2: Well, don’t hook up with anybody.
456 North Kimball Place
Boise, Idaho
Married dude: The regular girl wasn’t there so they sent the cute one.
Happily-Married dude: Uh huh, the ugly one wasn’t there so you met with the cute one.
Married dude: I find her very attractive.
Happily-Married dude: You are married!
Married dude: But she’s paralyzed from the waist down.
Happily-Married dude: You’re married! So you are paralyzed from the waist down!
226 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Dag
Colleague: I'm so tired all the time, man. I must have necrophilia.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: I know Latin
Waitress #1, to customer: I've tried that before, except I don't really like runny eggs, so I usually don't get it. It's good, though. Poached eggs look too much like an abortion. (pauses) I probably shouldn't have said that…
Waitress #2, overhearing: Wait, what looks like an abortion?
Waitress #1: Poached eggs.
Waitress #2: Oh. (pause) Yeah, they do.
Café
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I wouldn't know. I've never had one.
Project manager: I’m like herpes. I don’t go away.
New York City, New York
Hospital worker #1: Oh my God! Did you see those warts?
Hospital worker #2: No, I missed them.
Hospital worker #1: How could you miss them? Weren’t you holding the labia?
Hospital worker #2: No, that wasn’t me.
Hospital worker #1: Are you sure? I thought that was you.
Hospital Worker #2: No, I wasn’t holding any labia today.
100 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Customer service rep: Weren't you PMSing last week?
Coworker: Apparently, I was just being a bitch.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Cubicle girl: I do believe that while sneezing I strained my uterus.
Melville, New York
Boss: So, tell me about this guy we are doing business with today.
Assistant: Well, he is like [Adam], but with a bath and good shave.
Boss: Okay, good to know.
900 S. Shackleford Road
Little Rock, Arkansas
