Colleague: I'm so tired all the time, man. I must have necrophilia.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: I know Latin
Colleague: I'm so tired all the time, man. I must have necrophilia.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: I know Latin
Waitress #1, to customer: I've tried that before, except I don't really like runny eggs, so I usually don't get it. It's good, though. Poached eggs look too much like an abortion. (pauses) I probably shouldn't have said that…
Waitress #2, overhearing: Wait, what looks like an abortion?
Waitress #1: Poached eggs.
Waitress #2: Oh. (pause) Yeah, they do.
Café
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I wouldn't know. I've never had one.
Project manager: I’m like herpes. I don’t go away.
New York City, New York
Hospital worker #1: Oh my God! Did you see those warts?
Hospital worker #2: No, I missed them.
Hospital worker #1: How could you miss them? Weren’t you holding the labia?
Hospital worker #2: No, that wasn’t me.
Hospital worker #1: Are you sure? I thought that was you.
Hospital Worker #2: No, I wasn’t holding any labia today.
100 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Customer service rep: Weren't you PMSing last week?
Coworker: Apparently, I was just being a bitch.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Cubicle girl: I do believe that while sneezing I strained my uterus.
Melville, New York
Boss: So, tell me about this guy we are doing business with today.
Assistant: Well, he is like [Adam], but with a bath and good shave.
Boss: Okay, good to know.
900 S. Shackleford Road
Little Rock, Arkansas
Woman: Oh, I want the baby. I just don’t want the pregnancy. If I could just go to a fast food place and order a baby, I would.
4910 16th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Worker: What’s up with Charlotte*? Is she okay?
Supervisor: I honestly don’t know.
Worker: When I was pregnant, I worked all the way up ’til I dropped the load, and then I came back. Kids these days…
1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Coworker, on phone with husband: Well, I think they fell out of my… (pause) That's alright, there's a lot of shit to clean up.
Iowa City, Iowa
Overheard by: Shocked and Awed
