Girl #1: Ouch! My thong's making my buttcrack raw.
Girl #2: That's weird. Mine never do.
Girl #1: Yeah, it's probably because this is day three without washing it.
Girl #2: Uh…
Girl #1: I just got 'em the other day, and I love them so much that I don't wanna stop wearing them. They have an ice cream cone on the crotch and they say “lick me”.
Girl #2: Cute! Where'd you get them?
Girl #1: I don't know, my grandma bought them for me.
3rd Avenue
Duluth, Minesotta
Coworker #1: Dammit! I hate being poisoned!
Coworker #2: You know, something tells me that you aren’t doing paperwork.
460 Canning Highway
Perth, Australia
Loopy accounting manager: Now that I've flipped my calendar, I need to reconsider my cottage cheese…
California
Woman on phone: How did they pull it out? Did they cut you open or go up your butt-hole?
University Place
New York, New York
Coworker trying to quit smoking to coworker who still smokes: You just burned one, didn't you? You looked sick and happy when you walked in.
Amarillo, Texas
Overheard by: Gina
Large woman looking in bathroom stall: Lord, I can't even fit in there! I'm just gonna hold it.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Coworker: You a drug rep?
Drug rep: Yep.
Coworker: What do you sell?
Drug rep: Well, if you're bleeding out your ass, I'm your man.
Independence Drive
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: hongrime
Employee filling out sick leave slip: How do you spell “vasectomy”?
Coworker: I can look it up… My mom had one.
Independence, Missouri
Peon: I'm not on nearly enough medications to be a lawyer.
Kanata
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: not a lawyer
Cube dweller: Ow, my pancreas!
30 North La Salle Street
Chicago, Illinois
