Coworker #1: I got the hiccups from eating a pretzel the last time I was at a Pacers game.
Coworker #2: You got the hiccups from eating a pretzel?
Coworker #1: Yeah, all that bread… and I was drunk.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Coworker #1: I got the hiccups from eating a pretzel the last time I was at a Pacers game.
Coworker #2: You got the hiccups from eating a pretzel?
Coworker #1: Yeah, all that bread… and I was drunk.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Boss from other room: The most expensive coffee in the world, and…
Database monkey, yelling: Is that the kind that's shat out by monkeys?
Boss: No, leopards!
Austin, Texas
Employee: I have to leave, my mother’s bleeding.
Manager: Again?
Employee: Bleeding somewhere down there [gestures below waist] — she’s not sure where.
Manager: What kind of doctor do you call for that?
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Female coworker #1: I really need to cut back on my caffeine.
Female coworker #2: Yeah, me too.
Female coworker #1: No, I really need to stop. Whenever I go out with my running group, I always need to pull over and shit in the bushes. Y'know, because of the caffeine.
Female coworker #2: (tries unsuccessfully to hide disgust)
Female coworker #1: What? It's totally natural.
Male coworker: Why can't there be more men in this department?
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Had to stop eating my lunch
Peon: Oh my god! Who made the coffee?
Secretary: I did. What's wrong with it?
Peon: This stuff is like liquid crack!
Secretary: You're such a sissy. You added half a cup of blueberry creamer!
Peon: Seriously, I think I'm having chest pains. Call 911!
Bangor, Michigan
Overheard by: Love my coffee
Lady #1: My dad doesn’t have crabs anymore.
Lady #2: Oh, really?
Lady #1: Yeah, they all died.
Lady #3: Like pet crabs, right? Otherwise that’s a little too much information.
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Who would know that about their dad!?
Confused coworker: I think I'm intuitively dyslexic.
Burbank, California
Overheard by: urzzz
Coworker coming out of bathroom: Betty*! It still won't come out!
Louisville, Kentucky
Boss: What is all of this? My e-mail is overflowing with junk mail.
Manager: Just delete it all.
Manager, to assistant: You hear that, Jen*? You gotta keep your junk clean!
(silence followed by uncontrollable laughter)
Jen: That wasn't inappropriate at all.
Edmonton
Canadia
Insurance department boss: A death claim is better than a long-term injury.
Merchant Street
Honolulu, Hawaii
