New mother: You would not believe all the stuff that keeps coming out of your body.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
New mother: You would not believe all the stuff that keeps coming out of your body.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Soldier #3 has a glass eye. It is out of his head and lying on the desk.
Soldier #1: Hey [John], let’s go have a smoke.
Soldier #2: Alright. [Places cigarette in mouth and walks toward door.]
Soldier #3: Hey dumbass, you’re inside! Get that fuckin’ cigarette out of your mouth!
Soldier #2: Hey Blackbeard, get a fuckin’ eye in your head!
Building 2411-B
Fort Eustis, Virginia
Overheard by: SGT Grier
Coworker on phone: Scabies. (pause) No… Scabies. (pause, then louder) Scabies! (louder) S-c-a-b-i-e-s!!
(everyone in office looks at him)
Coworker, looking at coworkers and shaking head: Sorry, everyone!
Manhattan, New York
Cube dweller #1: How was your weekend?
Cube dweller #2: It was good! I went to the movies… Oh, and my mom said I could stop taking the medication she gave me.
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker: Oh, you know what? I'm retarded.
East Windsor, Connecticut
Patient #1 to family member on Skype: Yeah, they're taking real good care of me. (to nurse) Say hi to my sister.
(nurse leans in to computer screen, waves hello)
Family member on Skype: Is he being a good patient?
Patient #2, on other side of curtain: He's cryin' like a little bitch!
Stony Brook Hospital
Long Island, New York
Sales rep answering phone: Sales department… Oh, hi… Really? Thank God, because I have been scratching down there all night!
Boston, Massachusetts
Coworker #1: The side of my lips are dry!
Coworker #2: I put ChapStick when that happens to me!
Coworker #1: I'm doing it!
Coworker #2: Oh, man…I got ChapStick on my mustache!
Coworker #1: Girl, you are not suppose to say that!
36th & 8th
New York City, New York
Overheard by: LIL Papi Chulo K.L.
Old lady #1: She's on the pill.
Old lady #2: I can eat anything since I'm on the pill.
Old lady #1: Nan's on the pill too.
Nan: I'm on a lot of pills.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Boss on phone: I am not your proctologist today, sir!
3500 Boulevard de Maisonneuve
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: the receptionist
