Panicky mouse user: I have to clean my ball with Isowipes once a week, because it’s absolutely filthy!
54 Park Street
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Al
Panicky mouse user: I have to clean my ball with Isowipes once a week, because it’s absolutely filthy!
54 Park Street
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Al
Male boss: I will go K-Fed on your ass.
Male employee: What?
Male boss: Don’t make me make you pregnant.
Orlando, Florida
Co-worker #1: has Crazy [Don] come to see you yet?
Co-worker #2: Yeah. The first two weeks I was here he came over to my desk every day.
Co-worker #1: Did he ever make eye contact?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: He’s crazy.
Co-worker #2: At least he’s not trying to molest me.
3600 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
New mother: You would not believe all the stuff that keeps coming out of your body.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Soldier #3 has a glass eye. It is out of his head and lying on the desk.
Soldier #1: Hey [John], let’s go have a smoke.
Soldier #2: Alright. [Places cigarette in mouth and walks toward door.]
Soldier #3: Hey dumbass, you’re inside! Get that fuckin’ cigarette out of your mouth!
Soldier #2: Hey Blackbeard, get a fuckin’ eye in your head!
Building 2411-B
Fort Eustis, Virginia
Overheard by: SGT Grier
Coworker on phone: Scabies. (pause) No… Scabies. (pause, then louder) Scabies! (louder) S-c-a-b-i-e-s!!
(everyone in office looks at him)
Coworker, looking at coworkers and shaking head: Sorry, everyone!
Manhattan, New York
Cube dweller #1: How was your weekend?
Cube dweller #2: It was good! I went to the movies… Oh, and my mom said I could stop taking the medication she gave me.
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker: Oh, you know what? I'm retarded.
East Windsor, Connecticut
Patient #1 to family member on Skype: Yeah, they're taking real good care of me. (to nurse) Say hi to my sister.
(nurse leans in to computer screen, waves hello)
Family member on Skype: Is he being a good patient?
Patient #2, on other side of curtain: He's cryin' like a little bitch!
Stony Brook Hospital
Long Island, New York
Sales rep answering phone: Sales department… Oh, hi… Really? Thank God, because I have been scratching down there all night!
Boston, Massachusetts
