College recruiter: I don't feel like I drink too much, but I certainly feel like I get hungover too often.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: i feel that.
College recruiter: I don't feel like I drink too much, but I certainly feel like I get hungover too often.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: i feel that.
Person #1: My vagina is as fucked as the Gaza strip.
Person #2: Can I suggest a nice Jewish gyno?
Person #1: I don't want her to colonize my vag. Monistat will work just fine.
Person #2: You could just shove some Challah bread up there and have the yeast go to town on your sorry ghettoized crotch.
Boston, Massachusetts
Co-worker #1: Hey, are your balls getting hot?
Co-worker #2: Quite.
Co-worker #1: I hear a hot laptop kills your sperm.
Co-worker #2: I’m all for it. I smoke the seeds, too.
1759 T Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Brendan B
Co-worker #1: [Sneeze]
Co-worker #2: Bless you
Co-worker #1: Thank you. [Sneeze]
Co-worker #2: Bless you
Co-worker #1: Thank you. [Sneeze]
Co-worker #2: Stop that!
Co-worker #1: Thank you.
1065 Williams Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Nurse, pointing to birth control questionnaire: Ma’am, I think you answered this question incorrectly.
15-year-old girl: No, that’s right.
Nurse: It asks how long you’ve been with your current partner. You said five minutes.
15-year-old girl: That’s how long it took.
616 Court Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Vicky
Manager on phone: How was my day off? Well, I'm properly sore now.
Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Doug's Mom
College girl #1: I keep thinking I should smoke more often.
College girl #2: That’s probably not a valid assessment.
Binghamton University
Binghamton, New York
Man #1: How's your grandfather?
Man #2: Good. We were really lucky to see him.
Man #1: Yeah?
Man #2: Yeah. He had surgery to take out his colon.
Elevator, Park Ave
New York City, New York
Chick on cell, going to see her dad at work: Not shaving my legs is my chastity belt — now I can get drunk and not be a slut.
Main Street
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by:
Co-worker #1: [Millie], do you need any disinfectant wipes for your area?
Co-worker #2: Thanks, what are you trying to say?
21175 Olean Boulevard
Port Charlotte, Florida
