Worker getting up from corner of a desk: Oh my god, I think I sat on a nerve… My penis is numb! You know the technique “the stranger” where you sit on your hand?
Coworker: Yeah.
Numb worker: This is the opposite of that, it's like I have someone else's penis in my pants right now.
168th Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Lab worker packing specimens to send to reference lab: Wow! I don't have any gonorrhea or chlamydia today!
Kokomo, Indiana
Brunette office girl: She's off sick today, she has a cold.
Blonde office girl: But how did she get a cold when it was so hot yesterday?
Sydney
Australia
Young professional woman: I have to pee.
Young professional man: Me too.
Young professional woman: Race you to the handicapped bathroom!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Dan
College recruiter: I don't feel like I drink too much, but I certainly feel like I get hungover too often.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: i feel that.
Person #1: My vagina is as fucked as the Gaza strip.
Person #2: Can I suggest a nice Jewish gyno?
Person #1: I don't want her to colonize my vag. Monistat will work just fine.
Person #2: You could just shove some Challah bread up there and have the yeast go to town on your sorry ghettoized crotch.
Boston, Massachusetts
Co-worker #1: Hey, are your balls getting hot?
Co-worker #2: Quite.
Co-worker #1: I hear a hot laptop kills your sperm.
Co-worker #2: I’m all for it. I smoke the seeds, too.
1759 T Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Brendan B
Co-worker #1: [Sneeze]
Co-worker #2: Bless you
Co-worker #1: Thank you. [Sneeze]
Co-worker #2: Bless you
Co-worker #1: Thank you. [Sneeze]
Co-worker #2: Stop that!
Co-worker #1: Thank you.
1065 Williams Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Nurse, pointing to birth control questionnaire: Ma’am, I think you answered this question incorrectly.
15-year-old girl: No, that’s right.
Nurse: It asks how long you’ve been with your current partner. You said five minutes.
15-year-old girl: That’s how long it took.
616 Court Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Vicky
Manager on phone: How was my day off? Well, I'm properly sore now.
Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Doug's Mom
