Middle-aged project manager: Remember markers?!
Middle-aged web guy: I loved sniffing markers!
Middle-aged project manager: Airplane glue! We had to take my neighbor to the hospital because she got the lid stuck inside her nose from sniffing too hard.
Middle-aged web guy: Haha! I bet that was hard to explain to her parents!
Middle-aged project manager, dreamily: I just sniff paint…
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Unsurprised Temp
Male co-worker on phone: So my toe is definitely broken. No jogging for at least four weeks. So, you wanna come over tonight? If I can’t run, then at least I can fuck my way to fitness.
Fairfax, Virginia
Office girl #1: You smell nice. What are you wearing?
Office girl #2: Deodorant.
Washington, DC
Suit on phone: Yeah, you better remember how to take a shower.
59 Camelot Drive
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Sorry, I’m washing my hair tonight
Partner: Do you think the girls would mind if I popped an Ambien and went to sleep in their bathroom?
10 South Riverside Plaza
Chicago, Illinois
Chatty woman: Yeah, my hernia is the size of a baseball! Do you want to touch it?
Younger employee: Uh, no.
Chatty woman: Why not? Man, nobody wants to touch this thing.
Younger employee: Because it's disgusting, that's why!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: office moneky extraordinaire
Intern chick #1: You know, it bothers me going into a store to buy condoms. But I am equally troubled by the idea that even when I buy them online, someone has to physically stuff them into a box with the lube I ordered, and then ship it to my address. And they're there in some warehouse, thinking “Susie's getting laid tonight!”
Intern chick #2: You should look into Xanax.
Rochester, New York
Sub-editor: Hi, Ed*!
Designer: Hi, Jack*! I’ll try not to cut myself when you’re talking to me this time.
Australia
Security Guard: So I told her, “I’m ’bout to go over there & milk that goat. The baby’s gotta have sum’inta eat.”
9800 Kellner Road SW
Huntsville, Alabama
Designer: I can’t find a photo to represent personal trainers. The only stock images we have are too creepy. Look kind of like an after-school special.
Writer: Like a molesting-kids after-school special? Or the kind about bulimia?
Designer: A cross between those and the ones about steroids.
Creative director: Oh. That sounds OK. Use whatever you guys have.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
