VP: Are you pregnant?
Worker #1: No!
VP: I’m just asking because it seems like you get pregnant every two months.
Worker #2: Hey! You can’t ask people if they are pregnant!
VP: I didn’t ask her if she was pregnant.
625 Mount Auburn Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Executive: If I had to use that, my arm would fall off!
Scientist: This coming from the guy with the largest disposable pipette!
Rockland, Maryland
Cube rat #1: Hey, come look at this! The way Firefox cuts off the wording on my tab spells out “web anal”!
Cube rat #2: What? What are you talking about?
Cube rat #1: Seriously. Instead of “web analytics,” it just says “web anal.” that cracks me up!
Cube rat #3: Hey, I'm actually with him on this one. I'm looking up a recipe right now to make my girlfriend for dinner, and coincidentally my tab says “basil bals” for “basil balsamic vinaigrette.” You gotta admit it's funny.
Cube rat #2: You two have no idea how much I hate you guys.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Intern, about weekend: My favorite monk wasn’t in my meditation class, which was upsetting!
202 West 1st Street
Los Angeles, California
Children’s librarian: Do you mind?
Chick with breast exposed, nursing her baby: I’m sorry, is he sucking too loud?
York County Library
Rock Hill, South Carolina
Recent business school grad: You know, working for this company is not for the weak of heart. There is not a lot of recognition handed out to people.
Senior executive: Recognition? You want recognition? You are a dumbass. How’s that?
Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario
Canadia
Engineer #1: You don't want me designing that machine. Not even if I was the last man on earth.
Project manager: If you were the last man on earth, who would there be to ask you to design it?
Engineer #2: The last woman on earth?
Engineer #1: I definitely wouldn't do it then. No matter what I did, she would make me wrong. Fuck that!
Paterson, New Jersey
Office peon: When I was little I Dream of Jeannie always made me tense. I think it was the chaos.
25 South Front Street
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: emf
IT woman #1: How do you work this thing?
IT guy #1: What is it? An iPod?
IT woman #1: Yeah, I’m trying to restart it but I don’t know how.
IT guy #3: Ctrl, alt, delete!
IT woman #1: Don’t any of you have iPods to help me out?
IT guy #2: I’ll call my kids.
Maersk Offices
Algate, London
Corporate boss on phone: Do you know where I am? Do you know where I am? I’m on Roosevelt-fucking-Island… Roosevelt-fucking-Island! In a fucking trailer! This is my life, okay? I was nauseous this morning ’cause I’m a schmuck. I’m on Roosevelt-fucking-Island… So tell me, does it get any worse?
Roosevelt Island, New York
Overheard by: Officetemp
