Call Me “Bitch” or Nothing at All

Timid 20-year-old: Excuse me, ma’am…
Sassy 30-year-old: I know you didn’t just ‘Ma’am’ me!

Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Posted on November 8, 2022
Coworkers, Gripes, Washington DC

But Aren’t We Scheduled to Exchange Briefs and Deliver Oral Arguments?

Office Assistant: If I go back to the phone without an answer this guy is going to eat me out.
Manager: I think you mean chew you out.

1125 Colonel Drive
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Overheard by: WOW @ CU

Posted on October 31, 2022
Bosses, Canadia, General Idiocy, Gripes, Receptionists, Sexuality, Words

3PM Smoke Break

Banker: Yeah, he’s losin’ his eyesight…He can barely see now. He’s got that immaculate degeneration or whatever it’s called. But he still builds things with power tools. It’s pretty amazing…but kinda scary.

200 Nationwide Boulevard
Columbus, Ohio

Posted on October 30, 2022
Compliments, Financial Folk, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Ohio

Yes, But They Go Left to Right

Drone #1: This is one thing I didn’t miss last week.
Drone #2: What? Elevators?
Drone #1: Yeah.
Drone #3: Don’t they have them in West Virginia?

175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio

Posted on October 27, 2022
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Gripes, Ohio, Technology

2PM Staff Meeting

VP: That would be an unintended put option…as in put us out of our misery.

910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas

Posted on October 23, 2022
Executives, Gripes, Texas

Say Her Keyboard’s Emoticonstipated

E-mail admin: I am not taking a trouble ticket where she says, ‘I meant to send a smiley face but instead sent a frowny face.’

St. Louis, Missouri

Posted on October 17, 2022
Admins, Gripes, Missouri

10AM Client Meeting (Off-site)

Producer: Alan Greenspan is leaving the Fed and so our business anchor is crying.

1 Time Warner Center
New York, NY

Overheard by: The McCrum

Posted on October 12, 2022
Bosses, Design and Editorial, Feelings, Gripes, New York, Office Politics

After Emptying the Register, the Robbers Attempted to Unsuccessfully Masquerade as Employees

Employee: Can I help you?
Customer: Hi. Yes, may I have a turkey artichoke panini?
Employee: No.
Customer: No?
Employee: No. We don’t have those.
Customer: But it’s right there on your board. Do you mean you ran out of them today?
Employee: Yeah, that’s what I said. Order the other turkey sandwich, it’s exactly the same.
Customer: Actually I think I’ll just have a salad.
Employee: I’ll be right back. [Goes in back room.]Employee: Did you hear what I just said back there?
Customer: Ummm… No.
Employee: Good. I mean, cause it wasn’t about you.
Customer: Ok…

Panera Bread Co.
Tysons Corner, Virginia