Gripes

Co-worker: You were listening in on me talking to myself and not understanding the conversation!

261 W. 35th Street
New York, NY

Overheard by: simon feil

Matthew McConaughey’s mother: I wish you were Woody Harrelson. He always has better pot than you.

Patrick McConaughey: I fucking hate you too, mom. [out the window] Hey babe… don’t you know who I am?

Matthew: You people bring me down.

Backseat of the car I was driving
Austin, Texas

Sad boss: I'm sure there are a lot of normal people here, just not in this department.

Hartford, Connecticut

Lady peon #1: Man. I gave my mom her Christmas gift last night — you know, that DVD I got her yesterday — Rent.
Lady peon #2: Yeah.
Lady peon #1: Then I had to sit through two hours of that shit.
Lady peon #2: Is it that bad?
Lady peon #1: Nah, it ain’t that bad. It’s just all that damn singing…

Madison Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Jake

Frustrated lawyer on phone: I know they are engineers! But I cannot draft a contract using only Venn diagrams, mathematic equations and animé references!

Lamar Overland Park
Kansas

Overheard by: Needs A Drink

Employee: Hey, it’s The Bobster! I was just out–
Bob: Seriously, why did you just add “the” and “ster” to my name?

27450 Ynez Road
Temecula, California

Overheard by: Jake Glazier

Girl: Can you keep this desk clean?
Guy: What? The desk is clean. Stop hating!
Girl: Hey, hey, don’t say that, I’m not a cock-blocker. I don’t cock-block.
Guy: What the fuck does that have to do with my desk?

350 South Figueroa
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Sexual tension in the workplace?

Old lady to young guy during naked model drawing class: Stop undressing her with your eyes!

553 Aspicuelta
São Paulo
Brazil

Overheard by: the model

Co-worker: My hubby can be such a dork. We went to the hardware store this weekend because we are refinishing our bathroom. So, I ask the hardware store guy, “Where do you keep your caulk?” Hubby just stood behind me and snickered.

8400 Esters Boulevard
Irving, Texas

Admin: Do you need help with anything?
Engineer: Nobody ever asks that here. What are you up to?

Anchorage, Alaska

Overheard by: Overworked