Girl: Can you keep this desk clean?
Guy: What? The desk is clean. Stop hating!
Girl: Hey, hey, don’t say that, I’m not a cock-blocker. I don’t cock-block.
Guy: What the fuck does that have to do with my desk?
350 South Figueroa
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Sexual tension in the workplace?
Old lady to young guy during naked model drawing class: Stop undressing her with your eyes!
553 Aspicuelta
São Paulo
Brazil
Overheard by: the model
Co-worker: My hubby can be such a dork. We went to the hardware store this weekend because we are refinishing our bathroom. So, I ask the hardware store guy, “Where do you keep your caulk?” Hubby just stood behind me and snickered.
8400 Esters Boulevard
Irving, Texas
Admin: Do you need help with anything?
Engineer: Nobody ever asks that here. What are you up to?
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Overworked
Teacher #1: What are they raising all this money for?
Teacher #2: For this lady in the cleaning crew. Apparently, her purse was stolen and she lost nine hundred bucks that she was planning to send home to her family in Mexico.
Teacher #1: Where’s my nine hundred bucks? Since I started working here, I lost everything.
444 Pleasantville Road
Briarcliff Manor, New York
Co-worker #1: Wow! That’s the longest email I’ve ever gotten from a customer.
Co-worker #2: Really? What is it?
Co-worker #1: [Kateunderscorelee]@yahoo.com
Co-worker #2: That’s not long…Oh! Um, do you know what an “underscore” is? You don’t spell it out.
1001 Roeder Avenue
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Chris Shard
Customer: I want to pay my bill. I know it’s two months overdue, so I
wanted to come and pay it in person.
Customer Service: According to our records they shut off your cable today.
Customer: But they said I had until today to pay the bill.
Customer Service: Well, your cable has been shut off today.
Customer: But today’s not over yet!
Customer Service: It is for you.
11020 Flatlands Avenue
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Paul
Manager on phone: Yeah, I’ve got a little apartment on the gay side of the French quarter. Sometimes in the morning I have to beat them off to get out my doorway.
4621 West Napoleon Avenue
Metairie, Louisiana
Overheard by: PeauxBoy
Coworker #1: Yo, I need a shredder for all my junk mails that I get. I get mad junk mail at home.
Coworker #2: You print out all your junk e-mail?!
27th Street and 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Michael
Lawyer on cell: Why do you call me when you’re trying to name your cats, but you don’t call me when you’re served with a subpoena?
509 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
