Co-worker #1: You should say this word [unintelligible] next time you have a curry.
Co-worker #2: What does it mean?
Co-worker #1: Just say it, then get ready to run.
Co-worker #2: What language is it?
Co-worker #1: You know what they all speak. Muslim.
Shell Oil
Rig T/O S711
North Sea
Professor: What's the big deal? I don't understand what I did wrong here.
Angry grad student: You put information in that grant that is absolutely wrong! You totally misconstrued the results!
Professor: Well…fine, but I said it was “early preliminary data,” so it should be okay.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Employee #1: So did you know that any time you reserve a conference room, you have to also make a separate reservation for the media equipment?
Employee #2: Yeah, you always have to make a separate reservation for the equipment.
Employee #1: So when I reserved the conference room, why didn’t you tell me I needed to make a separate reservation for the equipment?
Employee #2: Well, you asked if they had it. You didn’t say you needed to USE it.
Santa Barbara, California
Helper: You’re wonderful — like a pie face.
Receptionist: Like a pie face? Wonderful people are like pie faces?
Helper: Um, obviously you don’t understand I have my own language.
Receptionist: … Well, then what’s a pizza foot?
Helper: Look, you can’t just be making things up!
4601 Spicewood Springs Road
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Nator
Admin: Can I go home after we’ve finished this bit? I don’t usually work long Fridays.
Boss: I’ve got two nephews to buy presents for and then decide what to wear for a pimps and hos party after this, and you think you’ve got problems?
Woodingdean
Brighton, United Kingdom
Boss looking at her new laptop: There are too many keys.
Bank
New York
Overheard by: Tjay
Cube dweller: I’m having two feelings in one day, which is unheard of.
1301 Central Street
Evanston, Illinois
Overheard by: cbn
Peon #1: Oh my god, who wrote “Happy birthday!” in the “Loss of your father” sympathy card?
Peon #2: Clearly it was Lance. Who else is that stupid?
Lance: What did I do? Oh, it's fine, let's just use Wite-Out, he won't know the difference.
Peon #2: Didn't you read the card? Or look at it? It's blue, how's “white” out supposed to fix it?
Lance: What, it's always someone's birthday around here, since when do we do sympathy cards?
Peon #1: Since my grandma died and you wrote “Thanks for all your hard work.”
Arizona
Overheard by: Shocked in AZ
Coworker #1: I can’t believe you’re singing.
Coworker #2: I always sing.
Coworker #1: Yeah, but the owner of the company is standing right over there!
Coworker #2: Why? Does she have a request?
Avon, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Fae
Client: It doesn’t sound as if the rep really understands the product. Does she need more training?
Account Manager: Oh, she understands the product. She just can’t explain it.
6665 N. Macarthur Boulevard
Irving, Texas
