Coworker: This one student went to school in New Mexico, so that's a foreign school, right?
Boss: Um… No, New Mexico is a state.
Coworker: Oh, really? New Mexico is a part of the United States?
Portland, Maine
Coworker: This one student went to school in New Mexico, so that's a foreign school, right?
Boss: Um… No, New Mexico is a state.
Coworker: Oh, really? New Mexico is a part of the United States?
Portland, Maine
Disgruntled middle aged CSR, answering phone: Hello. (pause) Oh, just at this stupid meaningless job. How are you?
Aliso Viejo, California
Female suit on cell: I'm just having a baby, it's not like the entire focus of my life is changing.
Federal Building
Washington, DC
Manager: Take the mop bucket over to the mop area.
Employee: How?
Iowa
Illustrator #1: What is the difference between a libertarian and a Republican?
Illustrator #2: Do you know what a Vulcan is?
Illustrator #1: Uh… I guess, like Mr Spock.
Illustrator #2: Well, a Republican is to a libertarian what a Vulcan is to a Romulan.
Illustrator #1: What the hell is a Romulan?
Illustrator #2: Well, they look like Vulcans, but they are more… Well, on the original show they represented the USSR.
Illustrator #1: So, a libertarian is a communist?
Illustrator #2: Well, no. Okay, do you know what a Centauran is?
Illustrator #1: No, and please don't tell me.
Greenville, Texas
Overheard by: Michael Philippus
PhD student #1: We need something that's heavy and puts you to sleep.
PhD student #2: Like cheese?
PhD student #1: No, not like cheese.
University of Århus
Denmark
Slutty girl: Ugh, I feel all queasy today. Like even the smell of water makes me want to puke.
Girl #1: Last time I felt like that I was pregnant.
Slutty girl: Don't say that!
Girl #2: When was the last time you got some?
Slutty girl: Like two weeks ago. Oh, but never mind, Dave's* dick was so small there's no way I'm pregnant.
Texas
Woman in hardware store, holding tube of black caulk: Does this caulk come in a smaller size?
Helpful hardware dude: No ma'm, black caulk only comes in large sizes.
Hardware Store
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: of course it does…..
Employee #1, trying to put flash drive in front USB port: It won't fit.
Employee #2: That's what she said.
Employee #1: Seriously, it's too big!
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employee #3: Well, try it in the back.
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employee #1: It's in!
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employees #1 & #3: Shut up, Dave*!
Port Orchard, Washington
Receptionist: Chickens don't have sex, they just come out of eggs.
London
England
