Co-Worker #1: Do you have to dust your desk all the time with your window shade open?
Co-Worker #2: No, why?
Co-Worker #1: Because of all the sun.
Co-Worker #2: Huh?
Co-Worker #1: Dust comes from sunlight.
4725 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Co-Worker: He was Canadian until he took the test.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Hanna
Counter person: Hi, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I’d like a dinner for twelve, please.
Counter person: Oh, I’m sorry. For orders that large you have to call catering at least twenty-four hours in advance.
Customer: Er, then how about two dinners for six?
Counter person: Oh, sure, we can do that.
Boston Market, Highway 60 and Limona Road
Brandon, Florida
Overheard by: Stefanie
Co-Worker: She sounds like she has a lot of cats. Like 40. She probably lives with these forty cats and has a pathetic life. Just listen to that voice.
5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Nicole J.
Admin: I just ordered the pizzas, but I don’t know if it’s gonna get here. I kept telling them, “Our building is on Exalander Road,” and they didn’t even know where that was.
Boss: We work on Alexander Road.
Admin: I know, that’s what I kept telling them. Exalander Road. But they had no clue.
Route 1 South and Alexander Road
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Emily
Secretary: Put it in! Put it in! Faster, c’mon! I can’t take it, put it in! [Giggles]Worker: Ready? Here we go. [Excessive grunting]Secretary: Oh yeah, that feels great! Oh, yes.
Boss walks by. Looks in office.
Boss: What the hell is going on here?
Secretary: He just put the air conditioner in!
2000 Peel Street
Montreal, Quebec
Overheard by: Monika
Library patron: Do y’all know where this book is?
Library employee: Try looking by periodicals.
Library patron: Who?
100 Decatur Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Jebediah
Co-Worker on phone: I feel like seeing a movie. Okay, what’s it called?…Who wears Prada?…Fidelo?
330 Garden Street
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Violet White
Girl: So I told them to just go ahead and ship the extra reports to our suppository in –
Guy: -Wait, I’m sorry, what did you just say? Did you say “ship the reports to the suppository”?
Girl: Yeah…
Guy: Um, it’s “repository.” Suppositories are pills that go in your ass.
Pause.
Girl: Fuck.
Route 1 South
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Emily
Starbucks customer: Yes, I’d like a grande Dolce & Gabbana latte?
Extremely patient barrista: You mean a Dolce cinnamon latte?
Starbucks customer: No! I said Dolce & Gabbana, and that’s what I want!
Extremely patient barrista: I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t sell that here anymore.
Starbucks, Indian River Road
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: a smarter customer.
