Boss: When will you be done with these?
Jackass: I dunno, all I have left is to finish.
Hudson, Wisconsin
Boss: When will you be done with these?
Jackass: I dunno, all I have left is to finish.
Hudson, Wisconsin
Young lady: Are there nuts in the apple walnut salad?
Dining companion, sarcastically: No, it’s a new type of apple.
Young lady: Good, because I’m allergic to nuts, and I really want that salad.
Waiter: Do you want the half salad or the whole?
858 Tittabawassee Road
Saginaw, Michigan
Overheard by: Herodotus420
Lady, to receptionist: Hi, I’m here for my internment…Oh, no! I mean internship!
875 Stevenson Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Waiting for Internment too
Male employee #1: How did Costa Rica go in the World Cup?
Male employee #2: Who does he play for?
Male employee #1: Are you serious?
Male employee #2: What? Is he on the Australian team or something? Is that why I’m meant to know him?
Perth, Western Australia
Overheard by: you’ve got to be kidding me!
Worker #1: So this UMass…That in Mass?
Worker #2: Yeah.
Worker #1: Is this “Mass” a city?
Worker #2: Nah, more like a town.
Berkshires, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Outofstate
Clerk, watching two inexperienced clerks trying to help each other: That’s like the dog leading the blind.
South Lamar Street
Roxboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Dun Ben Ther
Man: Do you have the movie Upside Down?
Cashier: Let me check. Um, no.
Man: The one about the two guys on the wine tour.
Cashier: You mean Sideways?
Man: Yeah, that one.
Cashier: It’s under ‘S’ on the wall.
Man, to his friend: It’s under “S” with Psycho.
Video store
Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: emily
Admin #1: There is a 30% chance that it will rain today.
Admin #2: Wow! That means there is a 60% chance that it won’t.
6606 Tussing Road
Reynoldsburg, Ohio
Boss: Why didn’t you build those three displays last night?
Night guy: I couldn’t find the stuff to do it with.
Boss, going back and pointing to the only three pallets of stuff in the back room: This is the stuff you couldn’t find all night?
Night guy: You should have put in my note that I should look harder.
Albertson’s
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Bill
Delivery driver: I’ve never had to stop and check in before.
Guard: Yes, you have. We started doin’ it after two-eleven.
Delivery driver: You mean nine-eleven?
Guard, rolling eyes: No. Two-eleven, when them people crashed them planes. Two-eleven.
Delivery driver: That was in September.
Guard: Two-eleven.
Circle Center Mall Security Office
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
