Receptionist: Hello, Ruddman* Media International…Excuse me? A heat index? I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about…Ruddman Media International…No, no this is not the weather channel.
3 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Why do I work here?
Co-Worker #1: Are you going to the training class later today?
Co-Worker #2: No, I don’t have to. I was grandfather clocked into the old training.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Manager: What was the soup de jour of the day today?
Sterling Forest Road
Sterling Forest, New York
Overheard by: Mark D.
Shopper #1: Like, look at this credit card. The numbers are raised. I wonder why they do that.
Shopper #2: It’s like Braille or something. They do it so blind people can read the numbers.
Oviedo Marketplace Mall
Oviedo, Florida
Irate tenant on voicemail: I came home today, and someone was in my apartment…vacuuming…I feel so violated.
3520 Lancaster Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Female co-worker: He gets all the good assignments! I had to spell. He gets to shoot people!
9th Street
Sheldon, Iowa
Intern #1: So is there a difference between homogenous and homogeneous?
Intern #2: Yes, one means “composed of one thing,” and the other is, like, a gay Einstein or something.
Rayburn House Building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: the Best and the Brightest
Woman: I want to send a money order.
Teller: Is it going out of state?
Woman: No. It’s not.
Teller: Where are you sending it?
Woman: Chicago.
Teller: That’s out of state.
Woman: It is?!
Bank
Southfield, Michigan
Overheard by: Next in line
Boss, on phone: Abby*, it’s Frank*. I’m at the British Library, and there’s a man looking at me.
Abby, on other end of phone: …Yes?
Boss: Who is it?
British Library, 96 Euston Road
London, England
Overheard by: hapless
Rep on phone with trucker: You do know you can’t drive your rig into the ocean, right? That’s bad…Oh, okay. Well, I hope you have a nice view.
1368 Old Fannin Road, Suite 400
Brandon, Mississippi
