Co-Worker #1: That new guy is kind of creepy, like he’s going to come in and shoot up the place.
Co-Worker #2: Yeah, I know, he’s just plain scary.
Co-Worker #1: …and not because he’s brown.
17th Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Dispatch God
Employee: Someone just called me. They said, “Hello,” and asked if I could help them because they had a question. I didn’t know what to do, so I said, “No,” and hung up. Was that okay?
Boss: I guess that’s one way of handling it.
US Patent and Trademark Office
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: Why Me?
Co-Worker #1: Hey, what budget number should we use for this? The old one or the new one?
Co-Worker #2: What does that email you printed out and pinned to your wall say?
Co-Worker #1: It says I should use the new one.
Co-Worker #2: Then I think you should use the new one.
Co-Worker #1: Cool, thanks!
Co-Worker #2: No problem.
5201 Paint Branch Parkway
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: i’m glad i don’t work there anymore
Admin #1: How old is his son?
Admin #2: Ten.
Admin #1: And how many kids does he have?
Admin #2: Three. They’re triplets.
Admin #1: And they’re all ten?
Route 1 South
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Emily Anne
Boss: When will you be done with these?
Jackass: I dunno, all I have left is to finish.
Hudson, Wisconsin
Young lady: Are there nuts in the apple walnut salad?
Dining companion, sarcastically: No, it’s a new type of apple.
Young lady: Good, because I’m allergic to nuts, and I really want that salad.
Waiter: Do you want the half salad or the whole?
858 Tittabawassee Road
Saginaw, Michigan
Overheard by: Herodotus420
Lady, to receptionist: Hi, I’m here for my internment…Oh, no! I mean internship!
875 Stevenson Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Waiting for Internment too
Male employee #1: How did Costa Rica go in the World Cup?
Male employee #2: Who does he play for?
Male employee #1: Are you serious?
Male employee #2: What? Is he on the Australian team or something? Is that why I’m meant to know him?
Perth, Western Australia
Overheard by: you’ve got to be kidding me!
Worker #1: So this UMass…That in Mass?
Worker #2: Yeah.
Worker #1: Is this “Mass” a city?
Worker #2: Nah, more like a town.
Berkshires, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Outofstate
Clerk, watching two inexperienced clerks trying to help each other: That’s like the dog leading the blind.
South Lamar Street
Roxboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Dun Ben Ther
