Co-worker #1: You can’t leave for a day ever again!
Co-worker #2: Why not?
Co-worker #1: Because without you there the average IQ in that room drops to 72.
1834 West Selfridge Street
Montgomery, Alabama
Overheard by: Asja
Co-worker #1: You can’t leave for a day ever again!
Co-worker #2: Why not?
Co-worker #1: Because without you there the average IQ in that room drops to 72.
1834 West Selfridge Street
Montgomery, Alabama
Overheard by: Asja
Maintenance guy on cell: There’s too many overloaded powerstrips in this building and all of the fire extinguishers are expired…you want me to call somebody?
1040 Old Yellow Creek Road
Vanleer, Tennessee
Overheard by: beth lankford
Assistant: How’s your day going?
Office worker: I wish I was dead.
Assistant: Good to hear.
3990 Old Town Avenue
San Diego, California
History major associate: That little dude is such a jerk! He’s got a major Napoleon complex going on.
Blonde assistant manager: Really? But he doesn’t have a big nose or curly hair or glasses…
History major associate: What? Not Napoleon Dynamite! Napoleon Bonaparte!
Blonde assistant manager: Oh. I don’t know then, I don’t watch the news.
Overpriced soap store
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: she’s our assistant manager
Employee #1: Someone stunk up the downstairs bathroom again.
Employee #2: Did you spray the spray?
Employee #1: Yes, and now it smells like someone shit next to a pine tree.
800 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Customer: What’s the difference between fiction and nonfiction? I always forget.
Dumbfounded coworker: Ummmm, nonfiction is true and fiction isn’t.
Next customer. . .
Coworker: Hi, do you need help?
Customer: Yeah, are we on the east coast or the west coast?
Dumfounded coworker: east coast [rolls eyes].
Customer: Then why do you sell books on west coast birds?
Angry manager: Because people like to go on vaction to bird watch.
Customer: That’s stupid. I don’t even know why my wife wants to look at these stupid birds anyway.
Angry manager to dumbfounded coworker: It’s gonna be one of those days, isn’t it?
Dumbfounded coworker: Yeah, all the retards are out tonight.
425 Jerico Turnpike
Syosset, New York
Worker bee, discussing his 75-year-old uncle’s brain injuries: I don’t want him to be a vegetarian for the rest of his life!
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: worker bea
Employee #1: Where’s she going, Georgia or Atlanta?
Employee #2: Atlanta. Well, a suburb of Atlanta
Employee #1: Wait, why she said she’s going to Georgia?
Employee #2: She’s going to Atlanta.
Employee #1: What’s that, like the capital? I thought Georgia was the
capital?
Employee #2: No, Atlanta, it’s like New York City
Employee #1: I always get those two confused.
Employee #2: She’s going to Atlanta. Hotlanta. Well, Decatur. It’s a
suburb.
Employee #1: So why did she say she was going to Georgia?
636 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: Dan Alcalde
Asian girl: I only know his size in millimeters -it’s 245.
Shoe store clerk: I won’t be able to help you, we only have American sizes and centipedes.
Asian girl: Ok, Einstein. Give me a 24.5 centipede.
Potomac Mills
Woodbridge, Virginia
Overheard by: Steve
Coworker, walking into women's restroom while lights are on generator power: Wow, this is romantic!
Mason, Ohio
Overheard by: uh…
