Employee: Hi! Can I help you?
Woman: Can I have a six-inch BLT on Italian?
Employee: I’m sorry, we’re out of Italian.
Woman: Can I just have white bread?
Employee: That’s the same as Italian.
Woman: Do you have plain bread?
13600 Solomons Island Road
Solomons, Maryland
Overheard by: I hate Jared.
Perky blonde stylist, describing product to client: It's like a liquid form of moisture…
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: irresolute.tumblr
Guy #1: Shouldn’t you know?
Guy #2: Dude, I don’t know anything. I’m not a Sultan.
West Greenwich, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Stan
Lady peon: I can’t believe I wrote ‘Happy Birthday’ on that card.
Coworker: You did? Did anyone fix it?
Lady peon: They’re always passing around cards! How am I supposed to know it’s a sympathy card?! Then I go asking when we’re going to have cake!
Federal Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Purchasing manager: I’m from Tennessee, so I can’t count.
Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Office Wench
Receptionist: How do you spell “Thursday”?
Co-worker: Look at your calendar, genius.
3110 Camino Del Rio South
San Diego, California
File clerk #1: How dare you call me lazy!
File clerk #2: What?
File clerk #1: You said I was lazy on the phone!
File clerk #2: I did not! I said you were crazy! Not lazy!
File clerk #1: Oh, okay, I am sorry!
Phoenix, Arizona
Boss: They're all pissed off cuz I yelled at them. I don't know why I yelled at them. It just felt good.
Washington, DC
Boss: Okay [Megan], you’re going to do all the work and I’m going to go get drunk.
Admin: Okay.
Boss: Oh, why was I born? I should’ve married rich.
Admin: Rich who?
99 Wall Street
New York, NY
Customer: What is the Happy Meal toy for boys this week?
Employee: Oh, no ma’am, we don’t have boy or girl toys this week — they are bisexual.
Customer: What?!
McDonald’s
Santa Monica, California
