Assistant: Can I go home sick?
Boss: Why?
Assistant: I ate too much gum.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: OMG
Assistant: Can I go home sick?
Boss: Why?
Assistant: I ate too much gum.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: OMG
Young black woman to older Indian woman: So, India and Indiana are different?
Older Indian woman: Yes, Indiana is in America.
Panarra Bread Counter
New Jersey
Sales Rep: Could you get me a UPS freight rate to send this to Annapolis, Maryland?
Secretary: …That’ll cost $35.
Sales Rep: That’s not bad.
Secretary: I thought it would be more. Isn’t Maryland, like, in another country?
Sales Rep: You’re fucking kidding, right?
Secretary: No, Maryland is another country, isn’t it?
Sales Rep: Unbelievable.
3525 Mitchell Road
Ceres, California
Copy editor: I just wanna go home and sleep. And if I'm lucky, I'll never wake up again.
Project manager #1: That's my dream. To die in my sleep.
Project manager #2: Well, sure. But tonight?
Copy editor: Why, is there something on tv tonight you'd miss?
Ad Agency
Seattle, Washington
Boss: Did you find that receipt?
Underling: No, it’s not in the receipt file. I checked every receipt for the last six months. It’s not there.
Boss: Why don’t you look again?
Underling: I knew you’d ask, so I looked twice already. It’s not there. Is there somewhere else that you put receipts?
Boss: No, only the receipt file. But if it’s not in there, it’s not a big deal. Later today, if you have time, why don’t you look again in the file?
Underling: Okay, but if it’s not there now, it won’t be there later.
Boss: Yeah okay, but why don’t you just look again?
1028 East Private Road 1200 North
Farmersburg, Indiana
Editor: It’s not chaos theory, it’s fractions.
8787 Orion Place
Columbus, Ohio
VP Research on phone: Look, I understand you think your project numbers are important, but we have data to suggest you don’t need to know them.
85 E Street
South Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Brian Brinegar
Tech support: May I have your name, ma’am?
Customer: Erin Quincey*.
Tech support: And how do you spell that?
Customer: Q, as in ‘cute’…
6615 Ayala Avenue
Makati City
Philippines
Co-worker #1: You have a thing for my stapler, don’t you?
Co-worker #2: I have to play with something. Better the stapler than myself.
127 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
Guy #1: I really want to find this book that I read in high school… It was called, like, Brave New World or something.
Guy #2: Um, no, you’re thinking of ‘I Can Show You the World.’
Guy #1: Oh! … Wait, no, that’s that song from Aladdin.
Guy #2: Oh, yeah… So what section would it be in?
Guy #1: I don’t know, Fiction? No, wait — Non-fiction!
Barnes and Noble
Savannah, Georgia
Overheard by: Leia
