Experienced woman: So, Chuck* came over last night and made me sit on his face.
Inexperienced woman: Why? Does that, like, help breathing or something?
21 Oak Street
Hartford, Connecticut
Experienced woman: So, Chuck* came over last night and made me sit on his face.
Inexperienced woman: Why? Does that, like, help breathing or something?
21 Oak Street
Hartford, Connecticut
VP: You are just naming random alphabetic letters.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Girl: Omigosh, I learned something today. Did you know that bras have an adjustable strap? Well, the one I’m wearing today was always loose and showing my boobies a little, but then I adjusted the strap, and whoa, let me tell ya, my boobs are like five feet higher in the air, and they are fully covered.
Career Center
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: azn
Employee #1: I just don’t understand the point of Martin Luther King Day.
Emoloyee #2: Come on! It’s a big day! It celebrates when Martin Luther King freed the slaves.
Employee #1: That was Abraham Lincoln.
Employee #2: Oh. Well, it celebrates when Martin Luther King gave the Emancipation Proclamation.
Employee #1: That was also Abraham Lincoln.
Employee #2: Oh. I’m not very good at history.
821 Benvenue
Rocky Mount, North Carolina
(cute FedEx guy with hat on leaves office after dropping package off)
Female agent: Firecrotch or no firecrotch? I couldn't really tell.
Aspen, Colorado
VP: But how will we make grilled cheese?
Drone: With the toaster oven.
VP: Well, I never, you’ll have to show me how to use it.
Drone: Have you used a toaster?
VP: Yes!
Drone: Have you used an oven?
VP: YES!
Drone: Then you can use a toaster oven.
VP: Well, I have never seen such a thing.
Benzing Road
Orchard Park, New York
Coworker: Derek’s* married? To a WOMAN?!
165 West 46th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Beth
Clumsy guy: Hey, man, I need one of those banger things and some pointy shits.
Employee: Please tell me you don’t mean a hammer and nails…
Clumsy guy: That’s what it’s called… Hammer… Yes.
Home Depot
Brook Park, Ohio
Overheard by: Telka
Two managers are determining whether palm tree maintenance is covered in a landscape maintenance contract.
Property manager: It says ‘pruning as needed,’ but that says ‘shaving of the pineapple.’ It can’t be the same thing.
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Female legislator: I love professional ball players. They, uh… tackle well.
20 Legislative Plaza
Nashville, Tennessee
