Auditor: What is a ‘Dutch Auction Tender Offer’? Is that where they go to Dutch and have an auction? … Where is Dutch?
Parham Road
Richmond, Virginia
Auditor: What is a ‘Dutch Auction Tender Offer’? Is that where they go to Dutch and have an auction? … Where is Dutch?
Parham Road
Richmond, Virginia
Co-worker #1: What are you drinking? Oh, my daughter loves that stuff.
Co-worker #2: This is a Red Bull. Isn’t your daughter only five?
Co-worker #1: Yes. My husband always gives it to her.
901 Mission Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Julia Goolia
Preacher: What’s that beeping sound?
Secretary: It’s the battery getting low on the smoke detector.
Preacher: Well you don’t need that if you would quit smoking, do
you?
801 7th Street South
Clanton, Alabama
New girl: Someone put all this filing on my desk. Don’t we have someone to take care of all this petty crap?
Old girl: Yes. You.
1 Becton Drive
Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
Ghetto woman: I’m only here because I got a gift certificate. I hate Manhattan. I never come here. I can’t stand it. Everyone is just so rude. All the time. So rude. I would never be able to keep my mouth shut to some of these people.
Nail technician: Where do you work?
Ghetto woman: Over here, at sixth and 23rd. I hate it though. That’s why I live out in the county.
Nail technician: Oh! Where do you live?
Ghetto woman: Brooklyn. Tommy! Sit still in that chair for godsakes!!
14th St & 6th Ave
New York City
Overheard by: seriously?
Coworker: But what if these Nigerian e-mails are real and people are making a lot of money off them? What about me? I bet that I could get rich.
249 W 17th Street
New York, New York
Peon, with Asian friend: Boss, I’d like to introduce you to my friend from Charlotte, Amy*. She’s stayin’ out here with me for a few days, then heading back home.
Boss: Nice to meet you! Where are you from?
Amy: Charlotte, North Carolina.
Boss: How long have you lived there?
Amy: I was born there — 25 years now.
Boss: Wow! How do you like it?
Amy: Like what?
Boss: America!
Amy: I, uh… I like it?
Boss: Do you think you’ll ever go back?
Amy: Yeah, I leave Sunday.
Boss: Wow! Well, I hope you enjoyed your American vacation!
Office party
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Jesse
Woman clerk: You all need to get your hot flashes together so we can get to work!
Springfield, Ohio
Overheard by: Azazel
Engineeron phone to production guy: Let me call you back. I might have someone check the Mandarin label for correctness.
. . .
Engineer on phone to production guy: Yeah, Pei* can come by tomorrow at 8:00am to check the label. Is that OK?
Production guy: No.
Engineer: Oh, is that a problem?
Production guy: Yeah, there are a lot of much better looking Chinese girls in the building.
Engineer: Uh…You are on speaker phone.
Three-second silence.
Production guy: Well uh yeah, that should be fine.
800 Beaty Street
Davidson, North Carolina
Coworker, about near-collision the night before: Mark*, I swear when I looked back last night you weren't pulling out! (entire office collapses in giggles)
Hailey, Idaho
