Clerk #1: What are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Clerk #2: I'm not doing anything, I don't celebrate Thanksgiving.
Clerk #1: What, are you Jewish?
Leader Heights, Maryland
Clerk #1: What are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Clerk #2: I'm not doing anything, I don't celebrate Thanksgiving.
Clerk #1: What, are you Jewish?
Leader Heights, Maryland
M.D. #1: Hey, look! They named their kid Babygirl!
M.D. #2: No way, that’s hilarious!
Janitor: Actually, it just means they haven’t named their child yet and that it’s a baby girl.
M.D. #1: Are you a doctor?
M.D. #2: I bet he’s not even a doctor.
Janitor: [walks away]
GroupHealth Cooperative
Lacey, Washington
Overheard by: lauren
Receptionist: So we’re going to need to reschedule his appointment, then?
Nurse: No, Mary*, this patient has passed away.
Receptionist: Okay, so then I’ll call him in the morning?
Nurse: You don’t understand. He’s dead.
Receptionist: Well, Dr. Smith* has a slot open for Monday…
Nurse: He’s dead.
Providence Hospital, 5th Street and Colby Avenue
Everett, Washington
Merchandiser #1: Do you really want to name this catalog spread ‘Circle Jerk’? Doesn’t that sound a little porn-ish?
Merchandiser #2: Why? What do you think ‘circle jerk’ means?
Monroe, Louisiana
Director: For your baby shower, are people buying pink or blue?
VP: Blue. Doctor says there’s a 50% chance it will be a boy.
San Fernando Boulevard
San Jose, California
Co-Worker: My cousin died in a car accident yesterday.
Boss: Oh, I’m sorry.
Co-Worker: Yeah. The funeral is Saturday in St. Louis.
Boss: Will you be going?
Co-Worker: Oh no! That’s not enough time for me to get everything around and make it down there! I mean, maybe if they had given me a week’s notice…
Olentangy River Road
Columbus, Ohio
Boss #1: So this year’s convention will be at the MGM Graham in Las Vegas…What?
Boss #2: Did you say “graham” like graham cracker?
Boss #1: It’s not “graham”?
3411 Pinnacle Gardens Drive
Louisville, Kentucky
Suit: Okay, so we will have the guy wearing an “I brake for whales” t-shirt?
Client: Are you aware that whales live in the ocean?
Suit: Yes.
Client: How can someone brake for a whale?
Suit: [Silence.]
175 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Ave Chitenmyhair
Coworker: There is a really neat installation art center in Omaha.
Boss: What city in Omaha?
Coworker: Uh… Omaha.
Boss: Right, but what city?
Coworker: [Long pause] Hard to say.
Woodhaven, New York
Intern: You know, Michael Jackson always reminded me of Darth Vader.
Employee: Who?
Intern: From Star Wars.
Employee: Wait, Michael Jackson was in Star Wars?
Pennsylvania
