Woman co-worker: She’s just always been angry at the world. She thinks people don’t respect her because she’s a midget, and a single mother.
Crenshaw Blvd
Torrance, California
Woman co-worker: She’s just always been angry at the world. She thinks people don’t respect her because she’s a midget, and a single mother.
Crenshaw Blvd
Torrance, California
Coworker: I hope I don’t get molasses in my dog bite.
Niagara & West Ferry
Buffalo, New York
Exec to another: This song makes me feel like I should be fingerbanging a hillbilly.
Emeryville, California
Tech guy: I need to update your microscope software, have you seen the dongle?
Grad student: Um… Excuse me?
Tech guy: I need to plug the dongle in to get access to your machine.
Grad student: Uh… What would… That… Look like?
Tech guy: Oh wait, never mind, I see it. Thanks!
[Tech guy leaves.]Grad student, to undergrad nearby: What the hell was he talking about?
Undergrad: I don’t know, but I feel like we were about ten seconds away from being in a very nerdy porno.
North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Manager to another: I'm more comfortable with the Shakespearean heroines than the ducklings.
San Francisco
Retiree visiting the office: I was working on the windows and running around the yard with my caulk in my hand, and I have this neighbor, Dave*, who was standing in the bushes, and I didn’t see him. But Dave scared me and there was caulk everywhere — caulk all over the windows and caulk on my hands. No, I’m serious, there were inches of it coming out! You guys aren’t even listening to me! I didn’t know what to do about all of the caulk on my hands but I called the 800 number on the side of it and the guy said that friction could get it off.
110 Nelson Road
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia
Employee: Why can’t you just install that for me?
Supervisor: Because I’m not going to spend an hour out of my day installing this on your crappy computer only to find out that it still doesn’t work and end up spending even more of my precious time trying to fix something that isn’t fixable and wind up making my life hell by hearing you bitch about this all the time. Only to make you happy.
Employee: So, is that a no?
Supervisor: You’re damn right it is.
Employee: Well, then can I just get a new computer so I won’t have this problem?
Supervisor: Fine. Anything to get you off my back.
Employee: Can I get a raise?
Supervisor: Don’t push it.
Employee: I think you need to take a nap.
1801 E. 9th Street
Cleveland, Ohio
Assistant: I heard you told someone in the office that we're all on medication here. I take offense to that. I'm not on medication.
Boss: You should be. It gets you through the day so much easier.
Connecticut
Boss: That's a great idea! Why didn't we think of that before? Wait… Is that legal?
Office manager: No.
Boss, hanging head: Awwwww…
Sarasota, Florida
Office lady: I am not having a good humpday. Stupid humpday!
Malvern, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: NotAtWork?
