Employee to group of new hires waiting for orientation: Oh, good, it’s almost time for them to pretend like they care about you!
Woodruff Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Fast, Fun, and Friendly
Employee to group of new hires waiting for orientation: Oh, good, it’s almost time for them to pretend like they care about you!
Woodruff Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Fast, Fun, and Friendly
Crazy coworker: I like to think that when we die, we don't go to heaven but we go to our favorite decade.
Government Office
Washington, DC
Worker: *Liam was great, I didn’t want any fucking sympathy and he just got on it with it. I hated my fucking father anyway.
Co-worker: Good.
Worker: I mean I only went to his fucking funeral to make sure the cunt was dead… And to spit on his grave. You know? But *Alan got two and a half days for his fucking mother in law.
Co-worker: Yeah?
Worker: Yeah. I mean I hated the bastard but I still get my three days right?
Co-worker: Right.
DWP
Bathgate
Scotland
Manager: Since I don't have any feelings or emotion, it kinda doesn't get in the way.
Richmond, Virginia
Engineer on phone: Even skanky girls need love too. And I'm single, so I do my part to help.
Grayslake, Illinois
Manager to peon: I'm so confused, maybe if I start smoking dope again things will make sense.
Washington
Confused coworker: So should I look for a baby girl, or another wife?
Dupont, Washington
Overheard by: Richard
Cubicle-dweller nearby: I'm really surprised that they gave me these little things with sharp points on them, I'm usually not allowed to have sharp things.
Mission Ridge
Goodlettsville, Tennessee
Manager: Well if they don't fill out the forms right, they don't get their shit. I have no sympathy for them…and you know what I say? If they want to find sympathy, they can look in the dictionary between “shit” and “syphilis.”
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Katie M
Female coworker: So…I heard you got married over the weekend.
Male coworker: Yes, I did.
Female coworker (eyeing his ring): Oooh, I love white gold! Very nice. Did you have them engraved?
Male coworker: Yes, in fact we both got identical inscriptions.
Female coworker (gushing): Oh, that's so romantic…what do they say?
Male coworker: “14k.”
Irving, Texas
Overheard by: The Bonesaw
