Coworker #1: Did you hear about that cat that predicts people's deaths?
Coworker #2: Yep, scarrrry.
Coworker #1: I love cats.
London
Ontario
Canadia
Office lady to coworker: I don't mean to be offensive, but he's a handsome rapist.
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Jennifer
Flustered bailiff: Ok, I sound a little obsessed with this woman I have zero connection to other than she had sex with the delivery guy my married co-worker has a crush on, but seriously, what a whore.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Administration
Manager on phone: How was my day off? Well, I'm properly sore now.
Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Doug's Mom
CSR #1, complaining about trainee: All this guy keeps saying is “I'm a senior engineer; I already know what I'm doing,” and flat out refuses to listen to what I'm telling him. I mean, it's just a title, guy. Stop being a dick.
CSR #2: Oh, yeah? Well I'm a customer service representative. I don't represent shit!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Black FedEx guy: You married yet?
White banker guy: Haven't met the right girl yet.
Black FedEx guy: There are no white girls!
Banker guy: No right girl.
Black FedEx guy: There are no right girls either. You just got to pick one and marry them and have some kids, that's what I did.
Midtown
New York City, New York
Overheard by: CDog
Cube monkey #1: I’m losing my will to live.
Cube monkey #2: Would a tiny peanut butter cookie help?
Calgary
Canada
Female coworker: What is it about me that says “oh, she'll be fine in prison?”
Raleigh, North Carolina
VP to another: There's a lot I do around here that wastes my time… and other people's time.
Durango, Colorado
