Assistant: They’ve already designed the corn maze for a Lewis & Clark theme.
Account executive: Why did they choose Superman?
Assistant: [Stumped silence.]
Thomas Street
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Pants
Assistant: They’ve already designed the corn maze for a Lewis & Clark theme.
Account executive: Why did they choose Superman?
Assistant: [Stumped silence.]
Thomas Street
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Pants
Maintenance idiot: How do you think they came up with that whole groundhog thing?
Electronics clerk: What groundhog thing?
Maintenance idiot: You know, the groundhog sees his shadow and we have six more months of winter. How do you think they came up with that idea?
Electronics clerk: Ummmm… It’s six weeks…
Maintenance idiot: I bet it was all of those animal activist settlers back when they came to America, or something.
Electronics clerk: Animal activist settlers?
Ft. Smith, Arkansas
Overheard by: i love my job
Diner: Well, you know, when she was young she just liked to sleep with dead animals under her pillow.
Denver, Colorado
Experienced stock broker: It’s not a butterfly spread, it’s a condor spread. Although, I’m not sure why it’s called that — the eagle is a more common big bird, so it should be an eagle sprea– Oh.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Woman at the copier: I'm not saying she's a whore, just that she likes penis more than her kids.
Jackson, Tennessee
Coworker to office administrator: Why did you send me this e-mail twice?
Office admin: Because they sent it to me twice.
Coworker: So why did you send it to me twice?
Office admin: Because I thought it would only take you five seconds to delete.
Coworker: Didn't you look at it before you sent it to me?
Office admin: Yes… but I didn't send you the pornographic e-mail that came in before that one!
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Employee #1: Where the hell were you?
Employee #2: In the bathroom.
Employee #1: For twenty minutes? God, I thought you were sleeping with the feces.
320 17 Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Coworker: I think heaven will be like one big open bar.
Jenkintown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Even in context it was awesome
Young male employee to friend: I mean there's no strippers in cages or anything, but it looks like it could turn into that kind of place, you know?
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
Woman walking by to someone across the room: And I will never confuse you for my common-law spouse.
Toronto
Canadia
