You Decide Whether This Is Funny– We Wash Our Hands Of It.

50-something African American visitor: There are brownies in the kitchen!
Coworker: Yeah! Feel free to have one!
50-something African American visitor: I can't. I might bite my finger.

Jenkintown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Still Not Sure if it's OK to Laugh

Posted on March 27, 2009
Body Parts, Employees, Friends, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Pennsylvania, Race

That's a Date We'll Never Forget

Employee, on 9/10: Ohhh…I just realized what tomorrow is.
Boss: Talk like a parrot day?
Employee: Uhh…no.

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Intern

Posted on March 26, 2009
Animals, Bosses, Employees, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Ohio

I Will Say That the Pen Is Cuter Than the Sword

Manager: Hey Annie, have you seen my new pen?
Waitress, excited: Oh my god, how cute!
Manager, excited: I know, right? (pause) It's really sad to think that is the most exciting things that's happened to me today.

Theater Distrtict Restaurant
New York City, New York

Posted on March 23, 2009
Bosses, Employees, Feelings, New York, Questions

Oh! Well, I'm a Bit Disappointed, I Must Say.

Maintenance guy: Do you have any holes?
Worker: What?
Maintenance guy: Do you have any big holes?
Worker: What?
Maintenance guy: You know, any big holes in the wall that need to be repaired.

Evansville, Indiana

Posted on March 13, 2009
Blue Collar, Body Parts, Employees, Indiana, Questions, Sexuality

He's All Like, “Yo, Ho!”

Woman #1 (giggling): It says here he used to work for Cockrum. What the hell is that?
Woman #2: Maybe he was a gay bartender?
Woman #1: Or some kinda pirate.

Downers Grove, Illinois

Overheard by: I don't want to know

Posted on March 10, 2009
Body Parts, Employees, Illinois, Names, Questions, Sexuality

We Imagine Ice-T in This Role

TSA agent at security checkpoint: Ladies and gentlemen, please remove all liquids and gels from your bag! Take off your shoes! And pay attention to that jewelry! That's right, if you have too much bling, you will ring! Let's speed this up here, people!

Airport
Newark, New Jersey

Overheard by: PetRunner

Posted on March 9, 2009
Clothes, Employees, New Jersey, Travel

Abuse Victims Make Excellent Employees

Account executive: It's Mike's birthday today!
Mike: It is not.
CEO: Oh well, time for the ritual birthday sodomy, anyway.

Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: IT Dude

Posted on March 6, 2009
Age and ageing, Australia, Bosses, Employees, Sexuality, Weirdness

Who Says Virginia Is for Lovers?

Office guy: That's gotta be some kind of metaphor, handing out blue balls.

Richmond, Virginia

Posted on March 6, 2009
Body Parts, Employees, Sexuality, Virginia, Weirdness

And Bring Me a Fresh Box Of Tissues

Legal consultant: What is the legal issue today?
Transferring girl: Well, this woman said she took her dead boyfriend's sperm in the hospital and now his mother wants it and said she'll be damned if she lets anyone have his baby. His mom also says she'll carry the baby herself if she has to to get a son.
Legal consultant (after pause): Okay, send her through.

Eden Prairie, Minnesota

Overheard by: Stan

Posted on March 4, 2009
Death, Employees, Family, Health & Hygiene, Lawyers, Legal, Minnesota, Weirdness

Tonight on Fox: When Good Conversations Go Bad…

Assistant controller: I was teased a lot as a child.
Clerk: You were tea bagged a lot as a child? I wouldn't tell people that.
Assistant controller: No! I said “teased”! What the heck is “tea bagged”?

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Lexie

Posted on March 4, 2009
Employees, Questions, Sexuality, Texas, Words