But I'll Have to Dock Your Pay for That Hospital Gown

Boss: It's about time! You're finally back, you know Kristen isn't here.
Employee wearing a heart monitor: Yeah, I know she's out sick.
Boss: Do you know how she's feeling? Will she be back tomorrow?
Employee wearing a heart monitor: No, but my doctor said I'm having heart problems.
Boss: Well, you look fine and you're here, so that's not a big deal.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Posted on July 15, 2009
Body Parts, Bosses, Employees, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Louisiana, Physical Appearance, Questions

It Appears That You Require Additional Tissues, or Perhaps a Spatula

Boss: (blows nose)
Annoyingly nice coworker: Are you alright? Can I help you with anything?
Boss: Are you serious? I'm blowing my nose. How do you want to help?

Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: lori

Posted on July 13, 2009
Body Parts, Bosses, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, Offers and requests

Could You Stop Talking About Janice Dickinson That Way?

Cubicle dweller on phone: The problem is: it's a very large pole with a very small head, and it's very ridiculous-looking.

Bristol, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: signguy

Posted on July 7, 2009
Body Parts, Employees, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Physical Appearance, Sexuality, Weirdness

…And Figure Out If They Need to Lose Weight.

Coworker: I just grab any woman who walks past–that's how I empower them!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: I've been on the receiving end.

Posted on July 1, 2009
Employees, Pennsylvania, Possible Sexual Harassment, Relationships

Though, Technically, This Smells Like Gin.

Disgruntled lady with broken iPod: I expect the customer service to go hand in hand with the product I bought.
Apple store employee: I see, but there is water damage to the iPod.
Disgruntled lady with broken iPod: But it did not happen while I have had it, it probably happened in the store.
Apple store employee: How long have you had it?
Disgruntled lady with broken iPod: It's brand new.
Apple store employee: This model has been discontinued.
Disgruntled lady with broken iPod: Well whatever damage happened, I didn't do it. I didn't drop it in water.
Apple store employee: Ma'am, we don't put water in our iPods.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Celine