Would You Like to See the Footage?

Boss: I got my wife a colonic for Valentines Day.
Employee: Oh yeah, sounds romantic.
Boss: It's like Groundhog Day.
Employee: With Bill Murray.
Boss: Yeah, it comes out for a little peek.

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Why be fake

Posted on August 6, 2009
Body Parts, Bosses, Cinema, Compare and contrast, Employees, Georgia, Health & Hygiene, Weirdness

This Makes Even Less Sense in Portuguese

Jewish middle-aged woman, after looking for something in her purse for a long time: It's like putting a donkey in a living room… You know, if you're a rabbi.

Bookstore
Sao Paulo
Brazil

Posted on August 5, 2009
Animals, Brazil, Compare and contrast, Employees, General Idiocy, Religion

On the Other Hand, We Probably Wouldn't Be Able to Smoke Them

Blonde: Imagine if children were like plants. There'd be loads more children!

St Albans
England

Overheard by: Sooz

Posted on August 5, 2009
Compare and contrast, Employees, England, General Idiocy, Weirdness

Let's Take a Minute to Be Grateful for Our Jobs Where That's Not an Issue

Producer: I promise you, strawberry tastes better than ass.

Culver City, California

Overheard by: LaLa Land

Posted on August 4, 2009
Body Parts, California, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Dump?

Guy, waxing lyrical in bathroom stall: Plop plop. Piss piss. Another dump I slowly dismiss. Although they don't smell like flowers, I can do this all day cause I'm paid by the hour.

St. Petersburg, Florida

Overheard by: Joe the average

Posted on July 31, 2009
Employees, Florida, Health & Hygiene, Restroom, Sensory Experiences

And I Have a Followup Question About the Bag Of Donuts

Guy to waitress: So, this cookie plate. What is it, a plate of cookies?

Chicago,Illinois

Posted on July 29, 2009
Dumb Customers, Employees, General Idiocy, Illinois, Meals and Snacks, Words

And Some Sauteed Onions

Cubicle dweller: If they can clone my dog, they can clone me a liver on the side.

Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 21, 2009
Animals, Body Parts, Employees, Technology, Washington, Weirdness

In Totally Unrelated News, Will My Son Get Mental Health Coverage?

New worker: So about the health benefit… will my son gets it?
HR: Of course.
New worker: What about my ex-wife? Because for sure I don't want that fucker to get anything.

Menlo Park, California

Posted on July 21, 2009
California, Employees, Family, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Human Resources, Insults, Questions

Why Kelly Ripa's Staff Is Sick Of Her

Working bee: But I'm cute and friendly and everyone should just love me! Damn it!

University of Illinois

Posted on July 20, 2009
Employees, Feelings, General Idiocy, Illinois, Physical Appearance

The Original Premise Of Mannequin Was Much More Interesting Than the Final Product

Senior partner, leaving office: So don't worry, I'll have those figures for you tomorrow.
(elevator doors shut)
Senior partner, to assistant: But anyway, he picked up the mannequin and started biting the fingers off it.
Assistant: No! What did Jenny say?
Senior partner: She was in the bath the whole time! She didn't see a thing!
Assistant: Oh my god! Was that before she came out and found the Puerto Rican guy on the beanbag?
Senior partner: Yes! And by this time, my mother had already left, so Jenny and I just had to get everything of importance out of the lounge room and lock the doors.
Assistant: That's amazing!

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Kate

Posted on July 20, 2009
Australia, Bosses, Employees, Questions, Violence, Weirdness

Employees